Bodysnatchers.

I have no problem with using steroids for business-related reasons. It's odd though, because how many other 62 year-old action stars are there? Gotta stay on top I guess, even when you own the mountain.

His new joint, The Expendables, in addition to his participation, features names like Rourke, Bullock, Kingsley, Lundgren, Knepper, Li, and Whitaker. The entire synopsis? "A group of mercenaries travel to South America on a mission to overthrow a dictator." This may very well be the greatest popcorn action flick ever!

The Republican party elected their first black national party chairman. Now to do something about all that poverty, inequality, and prejudice they've been perpetuating for the last three decades. On a less cynical note, I guess Barack is already getting black people jobs! Wheee!

I just saw "one guy, one cup." Google it if you dare! It's definitely NSFW.

Mandatory overtime tomorrow. So much for a fun Sunday watching the game. Super pissed.

I've already forgotten.-BK

Digital Bathwater.

Somedays your alarm goes off at 3:30 in the morning, and you're all like, "fuck this shit" and you pick up your phone and call in sick. Even though you're just a little sick. Sick time rules!

Girly man!


Can some explain to me why Indians love big dance numbers so much? Every Bollywood movie I've ever seen... HUGE dance numbers! Why?!

I shave in the shower, usually once a week. Easy kids, just my face. I will not encourage your dirty thoughts today. It's just that I don't ever even look in the mirror while shaving anymore. Just drag and rinse. Drag and rinse. Oh, the joys of an Eastern European/Irish gene pool. No real hair growth to speak of on the face or legs, but a lot on the back and in the nose. Sexy like Mr. Bean.

I'm rather excited about the possibility of winning Superbowl tickets. The normalcy of my daily activities is quite horrifying to me sometimes.

Not one, not two, but, wait... yeah, TWO shows tomorrow night! Look for me in Lawrenceville at The New Amsterdam, and in a suburb/township/borough/whatever right outside of Pittsburgh at Sunny Jim's with Billy Elmer. I don't know why every comic in Pittsburgh puts "with Billy Elmer" when they do one of his shows, but I'm not one to challenge the eons old traditions of comedy. I go with the flow, because in this game, you're either moving or dying. You can move upstream, but why fight? The New Amsterdam is FREE! Sunny Jim's is affordable, because, after all, in this economy, you can't afford NOT to laugh a bit. Elmer needs to pay his mortgage, yo.

After those two shows, I'll be out dancing it up with the kids, homies, and friends of Ben Kenny worldwide! If you don't know where, you're nowhere. Wordplay rules.

What do Ted Haggard and Rod Blagojevich have in common? Hair and steel balls.

All you are. Everything. Give totally of yourself.-BK

China Buffet Barf Party!

Two of the worst drives of my life yesterday. Appalling road conditions both to and from work. Cancelled appointment, show goes on, look, a puppy!

Show went well. A surprisingly young crowd. Performed with a few newish-to-me comics, which is always nice, as seeing new material/performers is SO welcome in/around this scene.

I do wish though, that our little comedy corner of the U.S. had a little more diversity to it. So many white guys in their twenties from the suburbs. Too few performers of color, vagina, and creed. Those who get it, get it. Those who don't... fuck 'em.

I'm back into Radiohead in a big fucking way as of late. Thom Yorke's solo joint, The Eraser, as well. Find me another group of musicians who collectively strive to evolve and further themselves and their art with a similar lack of fear and lack of desire to make easy money from stupid gimmicks. I dare you to.


This is a good enough place.-BK

Shot in the dark.

Yesterday, while minding my own business at Target, I almost had to throw a mentally retarded/disturbed man a beating.

He was following me around the store and making really weird comments. I mean weird, even by my standards. He was pushing a wheelchair, which I assumed to be his mother or father's, but they were nowhere to be seen. I was ignoring him, but soon began to envision getting violent in my head.

Finally, as he got closer, I turned, and kicked the wheelchair back into him. I made eye contact with him, took a step toward him, and told him that if he didn't leave me alone right now, I'd break his nose with the scented candle in my hand. He made the smart choice, as did I. The candle was cinnamon, which is too effeminate for my tastes, so I put it back, leaving Target candle-free, but heavily laden with toilet paper.

Snow in store for Pittsburgh. I, and I alone, must get those motherfucking planes to TPA. Gotta get one for the other thumb!

Did no one tell him Goth is dead? I'm happy they didn't. He has Brad Skelly hair.


Show tonight at Gorman's. None of you are coming, or likely to come, ever, but I'm excited anyways. I love doing shows in new venues and with people I don't normally do shows with.

Two shows Saturday night, in addition to the always awesome Super Secret Dance Party. It's gonna be fun.

Big game on Sunday.

Probably more home shit on Monday.

I've been browsing home-related stuff and stores a lot lately. Furniture, power tools, appliances, area rugs, pictures and framing, paint, etc. I saw a 4,000 dollar recliner yesterday. A chair that demanded more than a month of my income to own. It didn't even come with an integrated piss hose or anything. Crazy.

More house viewings in store for the afternoon. Gotta find that diamond buckle for the Rust Belt I live in. I may have found it already. Taking a second look at it later. Pictures being taken. Lots of them.

The sock drawer is important.-BK

Martyrdom.

Christ, I imagine this is what it would look like if Nazis became commercial loggers. Brutally efficient!


A crisp, refreshing, sort of cold about the Burgh today. Regardless, I ran the heat in my car for ten minutes before getting in and driving anywhere.

Saw The Wrestler last night. It was really well done. Mickey Rourke deserves the credit he's getting.

Back to the cold tundra of the Ramp tomorrow. It was a sweet four days off. I did a lot of house-related stuff, and as a result, drank more heavily than usual.

It's always black and white.-BK

Good getting.

Fucking car is making fucking car noises in the bad way. Grr...

Only working three days a week, with two double shifts in there. Lots of free time. Lots of free time. Lots of free time.

An Oscar-worthy performance.


More home shopping in store this week.

Can't stay long today.

Don't call it like you see it. You see things wrong.-BK

2000 AD

In anticipation of the upcoming film adaptation, I've spent my week rereading Watchmen. The uncouth call it a comic book, nerds refer to it as a graphic novel, but I think it transcends the genre and stands with few others. It's depth and scale are pretty much totally insane. It takes longer to read than a traditional novel because you have to pause, and look at the action in the panels. It's kind of like reading a really long children's book, but to yourself.

I especially like the uncompromising artistic integrity of the author, Alan Moore. He steadfastly refuses to see(or work on) film adaptations of his work, and usually defers all of his royalties to the other artists involved in creating the original piece. Check out his stuff. It's great.

A late night was had last night, but fun abounded, as it usually does. Dancing, drinking, socializing, just a plain old good time with good people.

Eagerly awaiting their new album. DM, whose members are well over forty, still rock harder than most any band around. They still create valid, interesting music, and sell out most of their shows. This about as perfect as music can possibly get.


Some big shows coming up. Actually, every show is a big show. Every show "matters" because this is what I live for. I always find it somewhat out that comics are so picky about what rooms they choice to grace with their presence, especially in this town. Every time there's a mic and a stage, and I can be there without missing work or stepping on the host's toes, I'm there. Period. Every time.

See the stars, they're shining bright.-BK

His name is Rick Astley, you stupid fuck.

Somedays, it seems like you're just laying upon your mattress reading about comic books when something wholly unexpected happens, and it makes your whole day, natch, your whole weekend.

I'm not gonna tell you what it was, but when I got the news, I smiled from ear to ear. A few select readers will know exactly what I'm talking about, and I know they all got a laugh out of it too!

Thanks for the calls and emails of concern. I'm fine. Just busy with things somewhat more important than blathering on and on everyday. I mostly write this as a form of intellectual stimuli, but my genius has been away on more pressing matters as of late. It was nice to know that I've been missed in some small way.

Sometimes I slow dance in my head when this song comes on. The heart is wrenched.


Gotta spray less and fan more.-BK

Keep it down now, voices carry.

I never used to care about football, or team sports in general. I still don't, for the most part. I don't sit and watch countless hours of ex-players and former coaches analyzing an inherently simple game. I don't have a Sunday routine. I don't read the sports section except in July, for the Tour de France.

That hasn't changed in the past few months for the most part, but with a small exception. I now care about only one professional sporting team, in only one professional sport. I'm on the bandwagon, and waving a yellow towel with vigor.

PITTSBURGH'S GOING TO THE SUPERBOWL!!!!

Tomorrow the nation switches presidents. That's as simple as it is. It isn't complicated. It isn't an ushering in of new ideals or a goodbye to virtual tyranny. America will be in the same situation it's been in for decades, and the lack of significant reform and change will not be Barack Obama's fault. It will be yours. It will be mine. It will be ours.

If you really, truly, deeply want to change America, burn it the fuck down and start over.

That's a good song, but not my favorite song of theirs by a long shot.-BK

Upgraded.

It's been a few days. I've been doing stuff and very tired.

We have been in a cold snap here in PA for the past few days. I have been working long hours outside in said cold, and it is sucking the life out of me. I'm probably more exhausted than I would be if I'd been working in 90 degree heat. I needed to eat way more food. The body works overtime to warm itself, and must be fueled accordingly. I was so exhausted that I paid to have a pizza delivered from a place that is literally 4 blocks down the street. The meal was soured by this fact, but pizza is pizza, which still made it pretty fucking good.

I spent a Best Buy gift card I got for Christmas on MGMT's Oracular Spectacular and Lady Gaga's The Fame. Both are shining beacons of hope for the future of electronic music, if somewhat poppy for my exquisite taste.

Don't even act like you aren't laughing like a third grader at this...


Being an adult and making adult decisions sucks.

We're gonna be on the news tonight?-BK