Little Jesus are you watching me?

Saw a hipster kid on my way out of the bank. Plunging v-neck shirt revealing some retarded phrase tattooed across his breastbone, cardigan, ridiculous sunglasses, expensive haircut, tight jeans, etc. I have never felt the need/desire to commit a random act of violence before this morning. I wanted to turn around and just hit him until I got tired, or arrested, but I didn't, as I needed to get to Taco Bell before the lunch rush hit.

I had a cheese roll-up, triple layer nachos, and a bean burrito. It was spectacular. Haven't even been farting more than I normally fart, which is more than enough already.

I'm now a homeowner. Closing on a house is pretty much the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever done. Well, that, and watching the body to make sure it was going to sink. Think I'll stick with acquiring property, as the scheming is so much more intense and adrenalizing, Fret not, I'll still kill people, but I'll keep to the forest(s) of PA for disposal-related matters.

There is a huge pile of clothing that I am either too fat, too skinny, or too tasteful to wear in the center of my living room. Some lucky hipster's going to hit it big at the Red, White, and Blue Thrift Store sometime next week. To those midwestern folks reading this, the RWB blows both Salvation Army and Goodwill thrift stores out of the water. It's like a regular store, but full of awesomeness and groovy, groovy deals.

That's right. I'm bringin' "groovy" back, both as a word, and a vibe.

I know I've been away from long form life status updating for a bit. Just imagine how awesome you think it was, and then add Slayer, and you might have a close approximation.

The made-up is way funnier than actually subtitling it.-BK

Purchased Music.

Goddamn. Old school alternative. Fucking killer! Thank you Terry Jones!


So the Wolverine movie was a substantial disappointment. The visuals were cool, if somewhat cartoonish, but the writing was oh so horrible! The one-liners fell flat(in a packed theater), the actors seemed restricted instead of hammy, and the audience could not get behind Logan, probably because he had too many enemies to juggle.

Sabretooth is a great villian, as are Stryker and Weapon X. Any of the three could provide a great nemesis to Wolverine, but all three together are too distracting and don't give the audience a chance to really get to hate any of them.

What they did to Deadpool is inexcusable, and Gambit has to be getting set up for a bigger role in the sequels.

Ate veggie lasagna yesterday. I now have a severe gas leak. No tangible visual results as of yet. It was delicious though, and I'd eat it again.

I wear down tires way too fast on my car, even by my aggressive driving standards. Gotta get an alignment check or some shit.

These are all hilarious! Little Britain over any other sketch show out today! Even though I don't have cable...






Alright folks, I am fucking tired of the double standard women put forward! I had the misfortune of encountering a bachelor party at, of all places, the Smiling Moose a few weekends ago. Chicks drunk on light beer collectively adorned with more phalluses than the entire inventory of many adult stores. However, I am uncouth in my "the boss let me borrow the work van, wanna fuck in it?" approach(es)? I think I need to move to another era. 1950's, I'm lookin' at you!

Sign of adulthood #381: While strolling through Millvale, I noticed a young man smoking a cigarette. As a youth, and currently, when drunk, I myself have been known to take a puff or two. But I made a mistake today. Without even thinking, I look at this kid and say "what are you, fucking twelve!?" and keep walking the opposite direction. I've become the Man. God help me. Gold help us all.

God probably wouldn't help me until He's helped all of you though, on account of my atheism. But I have kept quiet about a certain Father Klinger all these years, so you never know. He owes me a solid.

I smoke whatever's available when I'm drunk, by the way. Cigarette wise, I mean. All smoke tastes the same, i.e. bad, but it's an orally pleasant activity, and swine flu is going to kill us all, so fuck it, ya know?

I may have listened to INXS in excess! (Yes, I'm that good.)

One thing at a time, hombre.-BK