Saw a hipster kid on my way out of the bank. Plunging v-neck shirt revealing some retarded phrase tattooed across his breastbone, cardigan, ridiculous sunglasses, expensive haircut, tight jeans, etc. I have never felt the need/desire to commit a random act of violence before this morning. I wanted to turn around and just hit him until I got tired, or arrested, but I didn't, as I needed to get to Taco Bell before the lunch rush hit.
I had a cheese roll-up, triple layer nachos, and a bean burrito. It was spectacular. Haven't even been farting more than I normally fart, which is more than enough already.
I'm now a homeowner. Closing on a house is pretty much the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever done. Well, that, and watching the body to make sure it was going to sink. Think I'll stick with acquiring property, as the scheming is so much more intense and adrenalizing, Fret not, I'll still kill people, but I'll keep to the forest(s) of PA for disposal-related matters.
There is a huge pile of clothing that I am either too fat, too skinny, or too tasteful to wear in the center of my living room. Some lucky hipster's going to hit it big at the Red, White, and Blue Thrift Store sometime next week. To those midwestern folks reading this, the RWB blows both Salvation Army and Goodwill thrift stores out of the water. It's like a regular store, but full of awesomeness and groovy, groovy deals.
That's right. I'm bringin' "groovy" back, both as a word, and a vibe.
I know I've been away from long form life status updating for a bit. Just imagine how awesome you think it was, and then add Slayer, and you might have a close approximation.
The made-up is way funnier than actually subtitling it.-BK
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