Hard to believe little Elian is 16 now.

I've been having some sort of bout with food poisoning, so I called in sick and spent the day watching the entire second season of Breaking Bad on DVD. For those unfamiliar, it's about a terribly average man who turns to producing and selling crystal meth after a terminal cancer diagnosis. It has a striking similarity to The Godfather in that it focuses on temptation, family, and downfall. The series is ongoing, and you get the feeling that no matter how things end for the characters, they will end badly. It's really fantastic television, and if there's one thing Ol' Ben knows, it's television.

If there's two things Ol' Ben knows, it's television and drugs. The show got me thinking. Thinking about where I've been in my life, and where I might be again someday.

I have used drugs. I've dabbled in everything under the sun, with the notable exception of heroin. Not because I was scared of it, but at the time I was a-dabblin' heroin simply was not readily available.

The only drug I've ever felt an immediate, 1940's noir film connection/addiction to is/was cocaine. I did a bump(like off of a fingernail) at a party in my teenage years and instantaneously felt a deep desire to do more of it, like, NOW! So I didn't do anymore for about a year, and then had a brief, but fun, three month long fling with the Yayo at twenty. I've done it a few times since then, and have always restrained myself.

Coincidentally, if any work friends/enemies are reading this, I've been clean for 4 years. Feel free to ask for a urine sample, which I will gladly provide. On your face.

That being said, I choose not to use "drugs" because I value my job and the lifestyle it affords me. There are millions of drug users in America. Millions. They are people who can balance risk and reward. You and I do not know them. Most likely, we never will, although they work beside us, represent us at trials, and perform medical procedures upon us.

More millions get get their fixes via prescribed medicine, which is the same thing as a joint or two a week, in my opinion.

We know the drug users who are weak. Their weakness is not "from" or "because" of drug use. It's their character and lack of decision-making ability. It's the fault of their influences, notably, their parents.

My parents never used drugs(well, not around me, at least) but I did. I'd like to think the fact I was able to do it "smartly" is a testament to their skills.

I'm not saying drugs should be legalized, but I do believe in decriminalization/taxation of most narcotics. Like alcohol, what the majority of users do smartly, on their own time, in relative private, is none of the government's business, and frankly, none of "Joe Sixpack's" either.

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In other news, I did comedy last week. Twice in one night, actually. I felt soooo good to be back on the stage again, with new, funny, material. Like a creative weight being lifted from my shoulders.

In more other news, the house is moving along. I hope the summer will allow me to do some insulating, floor stripping and refinishing, and window replacement. My Dremel tool is an amazing piece of hardware that I'm always find a new application for it. I'm also becoming quite a passable plumber, electrician, and landscaper. I am working on my carpentry skills, which thankfully, I wont be needing until I redo my kitchen, which is a year or ten off.

I do need to get some art for the place though. The still unpainted walls are bare. I never bought art when I apartment-dwelled, and that will change. Shortly.

No videos today. Computer runnin' slow off the stolen WiFi signal, so be content in knowing that I'm listening to Dashboard Confessional, a band I adored in high school.

"You're serious?! You don't know who "The Cure" are?!"-BK

Store Closing! Big Sale!

I don't really like the idea of "Big" government, but I crossed lines and supported the Healthcare Bill. Although I have private insurance, a lot of my friends, people in their mid-twenties with practically no money, don't. These are people who wait tables, work construction or in retail, and generally provide a backbone that strengthens the economy. They deserve coverage, flawed as it may be. I think the real villian in all of this is not the politicians, or even the undeniably evil insurance companies(they make money from prolonging suffering, not ending it). It's Americans. We live like shit, and we need to kill our problems at the root, not "prune or trim" them, so to speak. We need a cultural revolution the likes of which has never been seen. It's fucking impossible, but as a country and a culture, America needs to try.

In a rare attempt at self-improvement, I actually actively sought a management position with Southwest. I pulled out all the stops. I bought a suit, got a haircut, fired out a really impressive resume with references I tracked down and called to let them know, had a GREAT interview, etc.. I didn't get the position, and I was crushed. Pretty close to devastated, actually. It sucked, but the vast majority of my Coworkers let me know that they were rooting for me, and would've really liked to have me as their boss. That made me feel appreciated in a way I haven't felt in a long time. So I have that. I don't think I'll be applying for another position at my current work location. I'm not going into details about the reason(s) I was given for not being hired, but suffice to say, it was a lot of political bullshit that has severely shaken my perception of "Upper Management" types. I now know why so many white collar folks are so jaded and miserable in their work environments, and the bitter taste in my mouth fades, but never really goes away.

So this is a band I'm "coming around" on: Breaking Benjamin. I was mostly just familiar with them in passing, i.e. I listened to them on my car radio when they were on. Thing is, I never really "listen" to music when I'm driving. Sure it's audible, I'm hearing it, but I'm very rarely really "feeling" the lyrics and composition. I think these guys, while unarguably generic sounding, are pretty decent songwriters, and the his lyrics are actually above average. I was recently dragged, kicking and screaming, to one of their shows and was actually surprised at just how good of a live band they are, and how devoted their fans are. I think I hated this band for a while mostly because their lead singer looks like he should work at a bank.



I actually wasn't even aware they sang this song, but it's a favorite of mine. I love this song!


I'm actually listening to Wolfmother and Tori Amos as I write this, so I haven't gone totally generic and soulless.

Housing prospects for Cooper are looking up. I'm really hoping to have him somewhere "better" in less than a month. He deserves more stability than I can give him, and I deserve to have to vacuum less.

Comedy, or lack thereof. I'm actually writing again, which is something I'm extremely happy I've been able to do. It was extremely hard to write things I found "worthy" for a long time, so I'm glad to be making progress on that front. I'd like to get back out and make people laugh/be offended with the material, but I find "the scene" so much like high school these days it's retarded. Maybe I should get drunk before I go, make up a good excuse as to why I have to go up(and leave) early, and leave while the applause is roaring. Too many of these comics do not understand what a punchline is. They just ramble. I do that sometimes, but I realize it. I watch people do five minutes of utter shit up there, and no one calls them on it. I do, in private, if they ask, but no one does, because comics are "sensitive" like that. Many cannot believe that they suck. Well, they do! Hard!

"Don't look for cheap compliments from me. When I say something, I've put thought into it, and I mean it."-BK

I don't care for fish or Phish.

Firstly, this is hilarious.

Lots and lots of snow, but seemingly little competency from the City of Pittsburgh, Penndot, and the Allegheny County Airport Authority. My bus was only three minutes late this morning, and the roads are still covered in snow. It says a lot when the Port Authority is back on their game before the local government is. Whatever.

My township, however, has been great with clearing snow. My street(even my alley) are passable at worst, and totally clear at best. Stowe Township keeps it real. We may not have businesses or occupied buildings, but goddamnit, we got good roads!

Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan are doing a buddy cop movie together. I'm not sure if this is horrible for Bruce Willis's career or great for Tracy Morgan's career? Maybe it's somewhere in between? And in a totally "WTF!" just searched IMDB type of development, Kevin Smith is apparently directing it. Has the world gone mad?

Tax return is done. Itemized, but still saved/got more via the simple deduction. I'm gonna blow it on red in Vegas.

"Have you tried other drugs?"-BK

He Skoal it from me.

I know it's been a bit between the here and the there. I've been watching Point Break. But I'm here again. Mostly because it's snowing, and while I like playing in snow, I don't like actually being outside while snow is falling unless I'm being paid to do so. My movie collection momentarily exhausted, I decided to write a little.

Shouts to my friend and bro, Brandon for gettin' me to type up a little literary fire again. His blog is an interesting read and something I find most agreeable. I guess that's why Brandon is a friend of mine. We've been fist pumpin' together since before Jersey Shore was even conceptualized, let alone a national disgrace. I watched three minutes, at most, of that show the other night at work, soiled myself, and cried for a long, long time.

Funny story: I first met Brandon when his girlfriend(now wife) Lori, bought me a drink about three minutes after I met her. I was wearing leather pants that night. I weigh 230 pounds. That's the kind of power I have over people if I so decide to wield it.

Moving on, but not forward, I suppose this is where I tell you what the hell's been going on.

Not much.

I semi-retired from comedy. Mostly because I'd completely lost any desire to perform. I still do fire out the occasional set now and again, and I'm close to rediscovering the sense of enjoyment/accomplishment I felt when I originally started doing comedy, way back, when there was only Playstation. That's right. I'm an "old" comic now. Twenty-six and over the hill. These damn kids these days all seem to be writing on the same paper(or in their smartphones) and with the same voice, which is another reason why I think I lost da' fire.

The dog. Definitely not a wise decision. While I enjoy his company immensely(he's a great snuggler when his ass is pointed away) I can't stomach him being in his cage for twelve to fourteen hours a day while I'm out and about, making mad cheddar and sending folks on their way to Orlando.

The house. I've taken a bit of a sabbatical on that for the winter. I really don't want to go into debt to improve/repair the place, and even if I did, my credit is so bad that... well, it's really shitty. So come summer, it'll be a project at a time, a hundred dollars at a time.

The "new" car. I'm selling it as soon as I find Cooper(the dog) suitable living arrangements. Due to my run in with a telephone pole, and subsequent run in with The Man, I haven't been driving it anyway. The bus and my bike get me where I need to go just fine, and I'm skinnier, but have a fatter wallet. Car free living suits me.

Bono. A douche for sure, but a douche with a good heart. If I ever meet him, I'll punch him in the face with my weak arm.

Just kidding. I don't have a weak arm.

Bitches. A sure sign of the upcoming apocalypse, I have been on a few dates. I'm not keen on dating. Like math and Obama's origins, it's confusing and muddled. Do we split the tab? Can I come up? Can I see you again? Not for me. The best romantic relationships in my life have started as great friendships, and I need to return to that format. No rush though.

Tobacco. I started chewing it. Don't really feel the need to elaborate, defend, or evangelize. I find it enjoyable, and a good way to "pace the day."

OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE VIDEO:


It's Royksopp. They are from Europe. You've heard a remix of this track in a Geico caveman commercial. I adore this video. Absolutely love it. It reminds me of a grade school social studies book diagram come to life. Immensely creative. Watch it four times.

I promise I'll write again. Someday.

"Utah! Get me two!"-BK