Friday, September 21, 2007

When the levee brakes?!

Rocking the mic at Slapsticks! tonight. You should all come out for the show. It's gonna be totally mundane!

I've been sleeping really well all week long. I don't know why.

Hopefully, I can get some overtime this weekend. I only have 110 bucks to live on for two weeks. The overtime won't effect that, but still. Bad times.

Oh yeah, it looks like I might have to replace a tire on my car. Stoked!

I've really been happy to be performing lately, because during the ten minutes I'm out there, nothing else matters, I have no stress except introducing new material, and I can just live in that specific moment.

If I could perform every hour of everyday, I would.

They made it sound like assigned seating.-BK

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

In the midnight hour she cried.

Why I feel no need to show any sort of common courtesy to Law Enforcement Officers: Part 359

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By now you've probably seen a young man forcibly removed from a public forum, restrained and handcuffed by five police officers, and Tazered.

I believe he was asking immature, inane, questions in a selfish attempt to get attention. He wasn't a respectful voice of dissent, he was rude and out of line. Yeah, he was being filmed, setting something up for his website or whatever.

However, that doesn't justify the fact that he was subjected to a Tazer episode. This is America, and we still have the right to fair treatment. The kid weighed maybe 150, wasn't intoxicated, was unarmed, and vastly outnumbered by "trained" police officers. He posed no physical threat to them, or the Senator. Some of those police officers should lose their jobs.

Don't ever be afraid to speak your mind in public! After all, Americans are dying in Iraq for you to have that right! Right???

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Rockin' into the night.

I had a monster set last night at Shadow Lounge. I basically riffed for ten minutes, and got huge laughs. It felt really good to work a room with an audience consisting of more than other comics and the venue owner.

Went to see The Brave One. I think Jodie Foster needs to fire her agent. Her presence in that movie was an insult to her talent. And there's no way those were really her tits.

Fall seems to be arriving. Good sleeping weather. Not sweating my ass off on the job. Happy all around.

I haven't really been motivated to write all that much in the past week. Sorry(to both of you!).-BK

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

My life is changing like a female awards show host.

I sat down and wrote 9 paragraphs about random, but important stuff. Naturally, my computer froze.

I leave you with this:

If 1967 Lee Marvin fought 2002 Russell Crowe, who would win and why?

I didn't mean to, honest!-BK

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

9/11/01

Ben Kenny sits in his 1st period English class. Having heard a plane crashed into the the World Trade Center, he thinks, "damn, somebody must have zigged when they should've zagged."

Then, the TV got turned on, and Ben Kenny watched the second tower get hit live on the air. Throughout the day, he watched over 3,000 people die in a cowardly, evil, and unexpected attack.

Ben Kenny will never forget 9/11/01. In fact, in time, it will become the singular event that has defined his political, moral, and spiritual beliefs.

Six years later, he still sees America at war with enemies she has created in order to make the rich richer, the economy run, and people more docile.

9/11 will happen again next year. What will he be thinking then?

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Iraq has nothing to do with terrorism. If you want to end terrorism, end religion. Good luck with that.-BK

Monday, September 10, 2007

Unlock the door, you're acting like a child.

Goddamn it felt good driving into the city(Chicago) a few times this weekend! Seeing the skyline, cruisin' Lake Shore Drive, and visiting some old haunts just felt straight up good!

I CANNOT wait to move back here! There is nothing for me in Pittsburgh anymore, not that there ever really was.

Don't do three shots of J&B and then go out. Bad idea. Goodtimes though.

Britney Spears' career is dead. She sucked last night on the MTV awards. Because I like pain and I'm from the 'burbs, I forced myself to sit through the entire show. That's right bitches, I even watched Fall Out Boy's performances. Thankfully, Pete "I wrote poetry and listened to Morissey in high school" Wentz's mic went out for a while and I laughed. The Foo Fighters' party suite thing was by far the best. I like Cee-Lo even more after I saw him jam on "Darling Nikki" with them. MTV should maybe play a little more music videos, since apparently, the show was awarding little statues to artists who had music videos...

That's all.-BK

Friday, September 7, 2007

Stuart with his second, from 148 yards.

Shoot 'Em Up was a pretty fun time at the movies. It won't win an Oscar, or ever be able to be shown on network TV, but it's nice to turn your thinkin' mind off, suspend your knowledge of physics, and just watch extreme violence(that isn't Iraq war related) for an hour and a half. Check it out.

Going to a midnight Improv Olympic show tonight. Exciting!

Facebook is better than Myspace!

That's all for today.-BK

Thursday, September 6, 2007

The Onion.

Tonight, I was fortunate enough to catch the South Park episode featuring Oprah Winfrey's "minge" and her anus, Gary. Why would a black woman have a vulva with a cockney accent and an anus with a Welsh accent? I don't know, but it's hilarious! In my opinion, this is one of the funniest episodes of South Park. It is most certainly in my "top five" list. It's up there with J-Lo hand, the cripple fight, and the creature critter Christmas shows! I'm laughing just thinking about it!

Spent almost the entire day waking my 14 year-old dog up from his peaceful slumber. He's lost some weight, and I play his ribs like a xylophone with his chew toy... I'm sick!

Took in Halloween today, and it was totally full of plot holes, there was no character development of Michael Myers past the first act(a major selling point of the film for me), and it got really cliche, really quick. Their was, however, an over-abundance of titties, which is almost always worth the price of admission!! Oddly, the girl who starred in the forth and fifth halloween flicks played a supporting part in this flick, and she has grrrreeat tits. She still sucks at acting though! In fact, most of the performances sucked! You know you're in movie purgatory when Rob Zombie's wife gives the film's strongest performance. Ugh! In summation, wait for the DVD, and even then, you might want to make a friend rent it.

I'll see you around.-BK

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Tell you what?

Big news on the Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy Telethon front!

Apparently, Jerry Lewis uttered the slur "fag" during his telethon yesterday. I know, you're probably thinking just what I'm thinking: "Jerry Lewis still has a telethon!?" He's a has-been, sexist, racist, and now apparently homophobic guy who has no cultural relevance. It's sad that the biggest coverage he can get involves a slur...

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In other news, I'm gonna be chilling with Otis in Chicago for a few days. Should be a fun time!

Heroes is a really fascinating show. However, I liked it better when it was known as The X-Men!

I wanna tear down the walls that hold me inside.-BK

Saturday, September 1, 2007

I hate sports.

Went and saw Death Sentence last night. Overall, it was a decently entertaining, well put together, revenge flick. Kevin Bacon ruled as he always does, and John Goodman redefined the stereotypical chop shop owner/gun dealer part. He was a great comic addition to the film. I wasn't impressed with the antagonist, Garrett Hedlund(Four Brothers) In my opinion, he's just not that good of an actor.

Two days off this week. I'm gonna spend them cleaning my place up.

My arms are covered in soda, and very sticky, as we were cutting open cases of pop and managed to cut too deep several times. Profit-sharing dollars down the toilet. Bummer.

Get it on!-BK