2009 models.

How did my year go? Well, it didn't really "go" one way or the other. It just... was. There were the usual highs and lows, but nothing so epic it affected my life outlook. I made mistakes this year, and I hope they've taught me a few lessons. I didn't get a dog, and I should have.

I continue to grow as a comedian, as an artist. This is so important to me. Very fulfilling and it makes my life worth living and whatnot. Follow your dreams! It is worth it.

The biggest decision I made this year was to stay in Pittsburgh another six months to a year. It was a bitch to juggle with, but I do not see my life becoming exponentially better returning to Chicago. Working at a shitty airport and living back at home does not appeal to me, and I'm not ready to surrender the freedom I have here. Pittsburgh in 2008 is going to be awesome for Ben Kenny! Why? Because I will make it so! I am tired of moving every year!

On to the nerdy stuff!

I write these "reviews" from a fan's point of view. I consider myself a pretty serious fan, with a good eye for story composition and whatnot, but the basic fact is, I just love watching films! Many of these reviews actually contradict what I wrote on Myspace/Blogspot when the films came out, but, as they say in Nebraska, go fuck yourself!

Best films of the year.

No Country for Old Men - Personally, this was my favorite film of the year. It's rare for me to watch a film(even good ones) without my overactive mind thinking about what I'm going to eat later, who'd be better in the role, did I turn my lights off? etc... But from start to finish, this film held my full and complete attention. It is perfectly shot, acted, and obviously, directed. Josh Brolin and Tommy Lee Jones both give excellent, career defining performances, but the star of this movie is Latin import Javier Bardem as Anton Chigur. Not since Hannibal Lector and Norman Bates has a villain been so utterly evil onscreen. The Coen Brothers also directed what I consider to be close to a perfect film in Raising Arizona. Even though Nicholas Cage is in it, it's a must-see if you consider yourself even an amateur film buff. Watch it. Thrice. Then preorder the DVD of this film.

Every other film is listed in no particular order!

I'm Not There - This is the most imaginative film I've seen in quite a few years. Actors of different age, gender, and race all playing different characterizations of the same man. Somehow, inexplicably, it all comes together in the end. The best thing I can say about this film? I have a new appreciation for Bob Dylan's crazy ass life. It'd be scary to be the kind of person he is and be forced to live the life he has. Killer performances from Cate Blanchett and Heath Ledger.

Atonement - A lie affects the lives of a group of people in Britain. There isn't anything extraordinary about the story, but it's acted so well it's scary. This is most definitely a chick flick about lost loves and dashed dreams, but I saw it in an empty theatre in the afternoon, so no one saw the tears... which doesn't matter, because I guess that secret is now out. I'm only going to admit this one time, ever, but.... Kiera Knightley can act.

300 - "Madness??? This. Is. SPARTA!!!" Over the top, hyper-masculine, ultra violence at it's finest. I loved the narration and coloring. Gerard Butler established himself as a badass leading man/action hero. Turns a real event into a folk tale, and for the better! This is a film meant to be seen on a big screen or on a large television with surround sound. It's an experience. My favorite scene? The opening battle sequence when the phalanx crushes everything in it's path! So violent, so gory, so fucking excellent!

Into the Wild - As an experienced outdoorsman, and a reader of the book that spawned it, I didn't know how I would feel about this movie, despite the hype that came along with it. Let me tell you, Sean Penn knows how to make great movies. His previous works are really good films, but he has defined himself as a director here. Emile Hirsch and Alaska take starring roles, and are great. Eddie Vedder's soundtrack was really good, and quite moving. Sadly, this is the story of a real person's tragic end, but at least he went out to look for his life, instead of expecting it to come to him. If you're a dude and have issues with society, wealth/capitalism, and your parents, you can identify with this film.

Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - Tim Burton + Johnny Depp = Cinema magic! This film is a musical about a barber who kills people. Helena Bonham Carter is electric. It's dark and dreary like all Burton films, and Alan Rickman is perfect in the role of the evil judge. You'll find yourself humming the songs for a week or two. Oh yeah, Sacha Baron Cohen proves he's no one trick pony! His brief appearance is really, really funny, dirty, and scary almost at the same time.

Eastern Promises - Viggo fucking Mortensen. Easily the most under appreciated actor working today. In everything he's in, his performances are spot on, but sadly, he is often outshined by the bigger names. Not in this film. He carries it. He plays a Russian mobster who's dedication is tested, severely. Great plot twist near the end. Naomi Watts is hot! Check out another great film by the director, The Dead Zone starring Christopher Walken. Anthony Michael Hall he's not, but thank God!

Superbad/Knocked Up - I think Superbad is the funnier/better film, but maybe that's based on where I sit in my life experience. It's nice to see "normal" looking people on screen in decent, meaty roles that aren't just fat jokes and whatnot. Could Jonah Hill be the new Belushi/Farley? Can he carry the torch? Should he? I really love Jonah Hill. I hope he continues to be hilarious.

Deathproof - Quentin Tarantino's ode to exploitation/action films. Straight forward story about a guy who kills chicks with his muscle car. Kurt Russell is hypnotic. The closing stunt sequence(which has to run at least ten minutes.), is gnarly-crazy, with no CGI or bluescreen work. It's nice to watch a movie that's shot "old school," with a camera truck and natural lighting. Very cool and underrated. See it.

Transformers - For what this film is designed to be and the audience it's targeted for, it's pretty damn good. No one can insult America's intelligence and visually fellate them like Michael Bay. This is good, as this film has no artistic merit whatsoever. Megan Fox is hot as hell and Bumblee should've stayed a VW Bug!

The Bourne Supremacy - Action, mystery, drama, exotic locations, a thoroughly generic star, this film has it all, and puts it together flawlessly. Joan Allen is great as always. She deserves bigger roles.

Juno - The late entry this year. Is Diablo Cody(ex stripper/hot new screenwriter) Hollywood's new Kevin Smith?? Ellen Page shines!

Under the radar films that were entertaining and not a waste of money.

Shoot em' Up - A really hilarious and exciting action movie featuring Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti. Totally over the top and unrealistic, and fearless. Gunfight during a sex scene? Sure. Rolling over a baby with a car? Fuck yeah! Using your hand as a gun barrel? Why the fuck not? One of the better times at the movies I had this year for sure!

30 Days of Night - Finally a vampire movie that has the guts to take an original story arc!

28 Weeks Later... - One of the more entertaining films of the year for me. The scene where Robert Caryle runs from the infected is heartstoppingly(I made this word up!) exciting. Buy it on DVD.

Sunshine - The best sci-fi movie this year. The entire cast is great, the visual effects are amazing, and the script/story were good enough. You'll either love this film or hate it.

Fido - Great indie horror/comedy about a family in the 50's suburbia that has a zombie butler. Billy Connelly and Carrie Ann Moss star. It came out in 2006, but only reached me this year. Sorry for the lateness.

1408 - A solid, good time at the movies starring John Cusack and Samuel L. "Motherfucker" Jackson. Written by Stephen King. Good!

Ocean's 13 - The best popcorn movie of the year. Al Pacino is terribly underused. Also, it's getting a little cliche. Time to hang it up.

Complete and utterly horrible shit!

Captivity - Not only was this the worst film of the year, by far, but it is quite possibly the worst film I've ever seen. Terrible on all fronts. All existing copies should be destroyed. If you have it queued in your Netflix, stab yourself. If your friends or family own this film, ending your relationship with them is your only option. This is the George W. Bush of movies.

Everything else is just bad. Maybe not to you, but you suck. I do not suck.

Good Luck Chuck - A "date" movie full of tits and dick jokes. Horrible, unfunny, no intelligence. Dane Cook wasn't even the worst part. The worst part, you say??? Even in a movie stock full o' titty, Jessica Alba doesn't show hers. Curses.

Live Free or Die Hard - Bruce Willis takes on a jet fighter while Justin Long slings one-liners. I felt dirty for liking this film. It is so far removed from the original trilogy it's retarded!

Hostel II - Not as delightfully evil as the original, but for the budget and hype, it still should have been better than it was.

Music of the year.

Back to Black - Amy Winehouse - Forget the cocaine, crazy boyfriend, and blown shows for a minute. This is an awesome album just to sit and listen to, especially if you were raised on Motown like I was. Rehab is the weakest track on the record! Believe the hype! For now, at least.

The Reminder by Feist - 1234 sold a lot of iPods, but Feist's jazzy, soulful shines on a lot of the album's more acoustic tunes. This is my current favorite driving/commuting album.

Down III: Over the Under - Down - Sludgey, Southern, Bluesy, Ball-smashingly loud and aggressive rock and roll music! It's not about how this band looks, their political philosophy, or some sort of "message." I just found out they're playing in Pittsburgh at the end of the month, and I'm so excited I've shat my friend's pants!

Year Zero - Nine Inch Nails - Loud, electronic, pissy music as only Trent Reznor can do! I listen to it at least once a week from start to finish!

Era Vulgaris - Queens of the Stone Age - This album both rocks and grooves. Hard. Buy it. Got it? Good!

New Wave - Against Me! - Punk rock with a soul and a message, but still utterly fun to listen to. Against Me! hasn't sold out, they've simply bought in.

Kala - M.I.A. - There's a reason this album is Numero Uno on everyone's lists. It's like nothing I've ever heard before. Imagine if Bjork, Jimmy Buffet, Dr. Dre, some Sri Lankan dude, and Michael Jackson had a really great, epically debauched orgy.... M.I.A. would be the result!

I listened to a lot of other hip, relatively unknown bands/artists this year as well, but you already know what a music prick I am, so I willfully neglect to share the rest with you.

Comedy

Doug Stanhope - He is the best comedian working today. He doesn't do a nice show that let's you forget about your daily worries, he shoves them in your face and forces you to fucking cope. I love Stanhope!

Web

Hasselhoff YouTube Vid - Easily the funniest thing I saw on the web this year. Why? Simple. I don't care much about his well-being. Stay drunk and recorded, Ben Kenny loves to laugh.

Television

Law and Order: Special Victims Unit - Great story arcs and secondary character development! The guest actors(Ludacris kicked ass!) and insanely weird premises keep me watching religiously!

Criminal Minds - This show is very formulaic, but I'm never disappointed with it. Good acting, I suppose.

Heroes - Even with an abridged season, still the most interesting show for me. The season started a little slowly, but the final three episodes were epic! I understand now why people like Milo Ventiglimia so much. The dude has mad charisma and shit.

The Office - Snarky, American-style, British-influence hilarity. Jenna Fischer is strangely attractive.

30 Rock - One of the funniest shows in the history of television. If I had a statue of Alec Baldwin, I would worship it. Tina Fey is the new Lisa Loeb!

Family Guy, South Park, Kenny Vs. Spenny, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - Low-brow, intelligent, and funny as ever. Watch these shows and prepare to laugh.

As always, keep your shit together, and don't bother me with your spam email.

2007, I bid you adieu.-BK