Just like that.

So I'm just drivin' along, returning from dropping off the customers' bags, minding my own business, and the front wheel of my baggage tug falls off. It was slightly scary, but mostly aggravating. Grrrr.

Fuck the New England Patriots! There is no reason a goddamn football game needs to be broadcast on two major, non-cable networks! Christ Almighty! As an added bonus, UFC fighting was on another channel, so I had an overload of douche bag-testosterone. Chuck Liddell is a badass though. I wouldn't want to fight him, even if I knew what I was doing, which I don't.

I will watch the Steelers game today, because that is what people who live in Pittsburgh do on Sundays.

Besides that, nothing.-BK

If you had that on file.

Mandatory overtime today. Not happy. Not happy one little bit.

I've been on the same tank of gas for almost three weeks. Weird.

MorningStar veggie food is the bestest!

Juno will be seen this weekend.

Everyone is injured at work. EVERYONE!

I need to go somewhere and tell some fucking jokes! Speaking of that, I'll be doing it at Remedy in Lawrenceville on Saturday night. Show up for the hilarity, stay for my set!

That's why I say "Hey man, nice shot."-BK

Ho Ho Ho.

Not a whole lot of xmas cheer here. Realized I forgot to mail my parent's presents, which is great. They're just gift cards anyways, as I'm too lazy to put much hard thought into what they want for xmas, and it isn't like I'm asking them.

Sweeney Todd!

Hand is chapped and cracked. Sweet.

Almost ate a chicken wing by accident today. It was very, very close.

Later skaters!-BK

But the other one.

Not much to say. Enjoying my two days off. Writing. Watching TV. Just chilling out and staying the fuck away from the mall. Christmas plans sorta/kinda coming together.

Later.

Just one of those things.-BK

Must be some good genes.

Britney Spears' sixteen year-old sister is pregnant. This is horrible for her, but totally awesome for most of America! Entertaining shit. Bad for the kid though. Really bad for the kid. She said she's gonna raise it in Louisiana, so it can have a "normal childhood." Uh, both Spears sisters were born and raised in Louisiana, and, uh, we saw how that turned out, so, um.... maybe raise the kid at the Palms??? Fantastic.

Sometimes, I don't know why I bother to tell jokes.

Xmas shopping this week. Ugh.

New Dave Gahan(Depeche Mode) solo record out today. I will buy that too!

Helicopter in Rio.-BK

Raliegh-Durham bag in error.

"What the fuck?! Why do you need goddamn bubble wrap on a piece of fuckin' steel that weighs two-hundred pounds!!! FUCK!" - Phil

The above is one of the funniest things I've heard in a long, long time. I guess you had to be there, struggling and grunting with us.

Have you guys seen the AT&T commercial with the gingerbread man and son? That shit is also quite hilarious!

Shoulder is in pain.

I thought I got some porn in the mail yesterday, as there was a large brown envelope with something thick inside. I was both confused and excited, as I did not remember ordering any porn. As it turns out, it was a mere gift card. Lots of wrapping for nothing. The food I bought with it was good, but that doesn't justify the unnecessary stirring of my loins!

Jokes tonight. Gonna bring the house down. Let's do this.

I'm telling you, burritos are the new pizza! -BK

Flesh off the bone.

Looking for the best place to see live music in Pittsburgh? I'm damn near 100% sure it's the 31st Street Pub. It's dark, crowded, and utterly devoid of beer signs and title sponsors.

Last night, I went there to see Blindsider, a damn fine band with a front lady who could wail like a banshee while strumming the bass like it was her bitch. Great, epic, slightly-spacey guitar work as well. Frentic, but never sloppy drumming. I do believe I will make efforts to attend more Blindsider shows in the future.

The other bands on the bill were great as well. The Melissa Quinn Band, and headliner, Rainstation Zero, are also both fronted by women who have enough vocal chutzpah to hang with a hard rock band. Rainstation Zero's guitar work was interesting.

I got very buzzed off of three Jack and Cokes. I'm pathetic.

What shall I do on my one day off?? Sleep. That's what I already did. I will take in a screening of I Am Legend. Yes, that is what I will do. After that, I will eat something delicious and fattening.

All about the fuckin' money.-BK

I guess I will heat up one of my thingys.

Life dealt me another shitty card this morning.

As I was going out to The Warrior to head to work, a fucking raccoon literally jumped out from beneath The Warrior's undercarriage and attempted to attack me. It charged, but must have noticed that I had a few inches on it. It then scampered back under the car. I was running late, so I simply hopped into my car(through the hatchback), started it up, and drove off. I didn't hear or feel any bumps, so I'm assuming the little bastard got away.

I did get some hella-good sleep time in last night. I went to bed at 9:30, right after 30 Rock. It is my firm belief that 30 Rock and The Office pretty much represent the only hope for comedic creativity on American public television, since Scrubs is in it's last season, and My Name is Earl is starting to become slightly cliche.

Alec Baldwin never needs to leave America.-BK

Bass solos need to occur more often in life.

Fucking freezing rain. Goddamn freezing rain to Hell! I am wet, cold, and generally not happy right now. My hands are so soggy and cold they've only recently recovered from "crab mode" which is pretty much what it sounds like. Bummer.

There's a totally awesome Bad Company song on right now!!

Back to 5:30am start times next month. It was really nice to be able to sleep for more than five hours a night this month. I'm going to miss it. At least I'll get more of the precious, sacred overtime on my new line.

I've worked at the airport for 10 months, and only this morning did I find out there's a Victoria's Secret and a Gap here. I need to be more observant.

I made a delicious vegetarian Philly cheese steak thing yesterday. My stomach didn't agree, but it waited until this morning to tell me, which was nice of it.

Water somehow found it's way into my "big closet." There are no water marks on the ceiling or walls, and I can't hear any dripping, so I'm a little perturbed. It does seem to be drying up however, it's leaving a nice, musky, dank-ass smell, so either way I gotta call the property manager man. Argh. None of my stuff got ruined, so praise the Buddha for that.

I gotta fuel my tug up.-BK

Slim multimedia camera phone.

Yesterday I watched MTV Cribs at work because nothing else good was on. The guy from Nickleback's house was on. For most of the rest of the day, I had crappy ass corporate rock in my head. Thanks MTV. Thanks a lot.

Also, MTV seems to be supporting Against Me!, a totally awesome and rocking punk rock band with ethos and ability and whatnot. Does this mean Against Me! has sold out?? I don't know. What I do know is that their major-label debut, New Wave is on my albums of the year list for sure.

Look for my "best of" lists sometime in the next week or two.

My left arm hurt like the dickens this morning when I woke up. I thought maybe I was having a heart attack, but I think I just slept wrong, as it's been 6 hours and I'm still alive.

And now I have a Three Doors Down song in my head. Great. Just fucking great. Must...find...rock and roll!

Speaking of rock and roll, Led Zepplin might be doing a reunion tour. I don't know how to feel about this, as they are damn near the greatest band in all of recorded history. I don't want them to sully their own memory!

I wanna be bigger, stronger, drive a faster car.-BK

Robert Allen Zimmerman

I'm Not There, a movie based on Bob Dylan's life, is easily one of the coolest things I've seen this year.

It features six actors playing six characters, influenced by, and based upon different times in Dylan's life. If you like movies with a beginning, a middle, and an end, you'll hate this film, but if you like art and are willing to be surprised and led on a journey, you'll be amazed at what has been brought to the screen here.

I've never been one to run around waving the "Dylan flag"(all of his songwriting isn't that great), but I walked out of the theater with a new appreciation for one of the most influential people of the twentieth century.

In weirdo news, I found Cate Blanchett strangely attractive, even though she was portraying a male character. What is wrong with me?

---

My sickness came back for Round 2. I was ready this time. I think I've beaten it down.

Got a show next Saturday night. Big time. Christ, there might be twelve, maybe even, fifteen people there!

I fucking hate Xmas shopping.-BK

(That's right, I keep the "Christ" out of Christmas. Take it.)

Oddly enough.

Today there is no random banter.

Check out thebestpageintheuniverse.net

You're welcome!-BK

Two large planes.

Did a "comedy show" for virtually no one last night. It was at a comedy club and everything. I'd rather do material in front of twenty people who hate it than no one. At least that way I'd be able to tell if my stuff was any good or not. Woe is me, I love Pittsburgh so much, but this is fucking killing me!

Cleaned my apartment today. Not in a "peed a little on the seat" way, but a "I need this place looking like a medical lab" way. It felt good, even though, technically, I'm only half done with the job.

I've also been nerding out, watching Firefly on DVD. If you aren't familiar with the show(it only ran for 8 episodes) it's a science fiction western were people fly through space dressed like cowboys and "talkin' country." They even have their very own fake swear words!! As with all things good, the network cancelled it because they "couldn't find a fan base." Did the check the basements and crappy apartments of America!? Gorram stupid they are!

Out on the town tonight. Solo. No comedy. The first Saturday night in ages I've done this. Looking very, very forward to it. Even have a fancy outfit and everything.

Joss Whedon is God!-BK

House Blend with creamer and sugar.

I caught the last half of Conan The Barbarian on TV this morning. It's the most badass of Arnold's films. There are giant snakes, whores, Asian mystics, big swords, scary dogs, guys with huge hammers, and James Earl Jones with "Cher hair." If you haven't seen this film, GO WATCH IT NOW! The blog will be here when you get back...

Selected quotes:

Thulsa Doom: Infidel Defilers. They shall all drown in lakes of blood.

Conan: Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, and why we died. All that matters is that today, two stood against many. Valor pleases you, so grant me this one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, the HELL with you!

Mongol General: We have won again. That is good! But what is best in life?
Mongol Warrior: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcon on your wrist, wind in your hair!
Mongol General: Wrong! Conan, what is best in life?
Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women!
Mongol General: That is good.

Wizard: He did not care any more... life and death... the same. Only that the crowd would be there to greet him with howls of lust and fury. He began to realize his sense of worth... he mattered. In time, his victories could not easily be counted... he was taken to the east, a great prize, where the war masters would teach him the deepest secrets. Language and writing were also made available, the poetry of Kitai, the philosophy of Sung; and he also came to know the pleasures of women, when he was bred to the finest stock. But, always, there remained the discipline of steel.

Yeah. Fuck yeah!

-----

Did a show for four people yesterday. Three of them were laughing. I'll take a victory that's small in scope over a large scale loss anyday of the week.





No good movies are out.





No good bands are playing.





I'm working anyways, screw it.

Nobody knows about the kittens.-BK

Only missed by a fraction.

If you are nerdy enough, you are dimly aware of the fact that they are making a fourth Terminator film. As a science fiction/horror/action movie fan, this makes me happy. Today, I was filled with a sense of overwhelming joy and simultaneous sheer terror upon hearing some news:

The good part is that Christian Bale has been confirmed as John Connor in the new film, which takes place in the future, when man is on his last legs against Skynet and whatnot. I am super excited about this.

The horrible part is that McG is directing. If you aren't familiar with his work, consider yourself lucky. He brought us screen gems like Charlies Angels and Fastlane. Essentially, he's Micheal Bay without the talent, which says more than I ever wanted to say for Micheal Bay. McG better not fuck up this film, but by signing on to direct, I fear he already has...

Shows this week.

I still have a bad cold. Ugh.

Steelers vs. Patriots on Sunday. I don't even know why I care. I never really cared about football before moving to Pittsburgh. Must be the "we have nothing positive to look forward to in this town and no chance for change so GO STEELERS!" syndrome.

Not going to Chicago for Christmas this year.

Van Halen is playing here in March. If the tickets are under fifty bucks... maybe...

Boot shopping today.

House cleaning tonight.

Materials and products.-BK

Not Alone

The Man, the Myth, the Legend. Tough as nails and never afraid to fail. RIP

In other news, not much is happening.

Without warning.-BK