Berkshire Hathaway is for pussies, yo!

Took in Saw IV the other day, and like most horror movies, the journey is better than the destination. The gnarliest part of the film for me was the autopsy scene, because they never once cut away. It is very straightforward and "gooey." I hope they keep coming up with more interesting ways to kill/hurt people, Saw films are always good for that. My favorite so far was the "bathtub o' needles" from Saw II. What's your favorite?

Big time competition Friday night. Maybe I'll make it to round two. I only get five minutes, which is a little shorter than I've grown accustomed to, so I'll be doing a "greatest hits/best of" set, with a few new jams thrown in. Hannah Montana ticket scalper jokes, anyone?

Look for something on the YouTube from me by next Friday. It's going to be a semi-regular thing, and it's going to fucking rule!

Nachos in Vegas by this time tomorrow!

Been reading the Forbes 400 richest American list. There sure do seem to be a lot of old white guys on it!

Not good looking, but, you know, I ain't shy.-BK

No time left for you.

Competing in a contest at Slapsticks! Friday night. I probably won't be advancing, but still, come out and support.

Day off of work tomorrow. I need to figure out a make up strategy for my Halloween costume, clean my bathroom, and sleep. Christ, I'm looking forward to sleeping!

Might go see Lars and the Real Girl as well.

Really excited about Las Vegas. I haven't traveled to anywhere except Chicago, West Virginia, and Wisconsin in like nine months. Oh, I went to New York once, but that was a business/research trip. It will be sweet to get away for a day or two. I'm not even gonna gamble that much. I'm just gonna "chillax" as the Southern Californians used to say before their homes all burned down.

It was really cold this morning. I'm a "hot sleeper," but I think it's about time to turn on the ol' heat.

70 bags already.-BK

David Byrne said it.

Ventured out to see a show last night. It was grand. One of my favorite recording artists, David Bazan, formerly of Pedro the Lion, played a solo show at the Garfield Artworks. He played quite a few of my favorite songs, and he played on an electric guitar, which actually is a great testament to how powerful his voice is. If you're so inclined, check out David/Pedro the Lion sometime, you won't be dissapointed. To offset the amount of emo I absorbed through the crowd's attitude, dress, and general presence, I listened to Mastodon all the way home. Mastodon is FUCKING awesome! I mean, a concept album about whaling!? Seriously!

Finally bought a video cam. Watch out YouTube.

Back to work in a day. Meh.

Gonna drink me some beer tonight, I think.

Dexter is a great show. Watch it. It's more interesting than whatever reality show is on. Well, maybe besides Cops. That show never fails to entertain. I hope I never become a "cast member" though.

I put out a personal ad on craigslist and got over 40 responses. There sure are a lot of people willing to settle out in the world! Pale, flabby, odd nerds rejoice.

Well, don't stop believing.-BK

Sit and watch the clouds roll by, the tall grass sways in the wind.

Mad props go out to Mo Mozuch for having me up at his CD recording last night. I had a great time, and I made people laugh. Plus, there was beer! A cat was chilling at the base of the mic stand for most of my set, and people were sitting on the floor. It had a very "Christmas special" feel to it. Tim Dimond told great, not quite racist jokes about Asian chicks, which is always funny.

Working a double shift today. It's rainy and shitty, and I'm tired. Ugg. (Not the boots.)

Off two days this week. How shall I spend it? Bicycle ride(s)? Cleaning? Sleep? Sleep sounds pretty good!

Las Vegas on Halloween! I'll be partying like Rick James did in 1982, but with no cocaine, bass guitars, vaginas, recording contracts, or dreadlocks.

I have a weird, inverted pimple on my back that's been giving me trouble these past two days. I'm poppin' the fucker tonight. It's gonna rule!

In other body-related news, the lump on my arm seems to be almost gone. Although I can't say I'll miss it, I'll always wonder what it could have been. Goodtimes.

My cousin's wedding is gonna be fun, I'm gonna see how drunk I can get before I fly to back and work at 5am the next day...

I really miss my dog Otis.

That hit the spot.-BK

How does one harden their heart and swallow their tears, exactly?

Came thisclose to hitting a deer at 4:49am this morning. Fucking deer don't belong in the parking lot of my apartment complex. I mean, really, they aren't even tenants!

Drove aimlessly for two hours yesterday. It felt good. I drank a quart of chocolate soy milk and at some Gala apples. Cleansing, yo.

Thrift store hunting for the second half of my halloween costume today. It's gonna be awesome. Wild beyond belief. If you're Amish, that is.

I have a weird lump about two inches above my wrist, on the inside of my forearm. It better not be fucking cancer. Cancer is not cool.

If you haven't heard by now, Ron Paul is the only hope for America. Rethink your priorities!

Tom Petty is good stuff.

More shows on the horizon. Including one Wednesday night.

Let's do this shit.-BK

One hundred dollar gas card.

30 Days of Night was a pretty decent flick. Not great, but it's good to see a vampire flick that isn't campy/melodramatic. It's also cool to see a vampire flick where the humans can't put up much of a fight. I'm just saying...

Green pepper, soy sausage, tofu eggs. De-lish!!

Back to work, back to overtime. Money!

I can't wait to get back to Chicago, but yesterday, as I sat on the bank of the mighty Mon river, I realized something: I really like Pittsburgh. Perhaps I'll move here again when I'm a big celebrity. You know, in order to avoid the blinding flash of the paparazzi.

Speaking of paparazzi, the TMZ show is like Access Hollywood, but with far less fake class and some really biting, funny voice over stuff. Also, I love watching Britney Spears. Sorry America, I just do.

I think I saw a midget with Downs Syndrome the other day. That kind of sucks.
HOMEWORK: If you had both and could give one away, what would it be, and why?

Holy shit! Dolly Parton still records?!

All is well. Remain calm.-BK

Ramp just wanted you to know...

Show last night went fairly poorly. My fault. I put nothing into it.

Hillary Clinton reminds me of every bad teacher I've ever had, including the male ones. I don't want a bad teacher running our country just like the class mongoloid is now. Gold stars and happy feelings don't pay mortgages or let people retire.

Jenna Bush is a moron. Books about single mothers in Africa with AIDS don't change the world. Activism, discusssion, and good, old-fashioned cash does. Too bad there's no oil in Africa:(

(Bow to the emoticon, bitches.)

Fall has fallen. Fuck, what a great pun.

Anyways, I need to go hoodie shopping, as the hoodie is the preferred method of warmth retention for those who live the Ben Kenny lifestyle. I'm down to two hoodies. If this was Wargames, I'd be at about Defcon 3.

I just picked up Garbage's album, Version 2.0. Yes, I know it's been out for ten years. That doesn't make it any less rocking. One of the more underrated bands of the "grunge" era, Garbage is.

I got nothin'.-BK

Nalgene bottles. Everywhere.

Lots of overtime. Very little sleep. It is catching up with me. Protect me, Almighty Dew!

30 Days Of Night comes out Friday! Excitement abounds.

Comedy show tomorrow night. I have very few new jokes. Curses!

Goodbye for now.-BK

Only at the all new Kenny Ross Toyota!

Total, earth-destroying, disaster was narrowly averted yesterday.

I'd been meaning to see The Heartbreak Kid as it's a Farrelly(sp?) Brothers movie(Kingpin, There's Something About Mary) and I usually get a good laugh at least once during their flicks. Anyways, whilst eating breakfast at a local, independently owned restaurant, "Eggs n' at," I overhead someone mention that Carlos Mencia was actually in the film! You can imagine my gratitude. Christ, I almost paid for the guy's breakfast.

Instead of seeing the movie, I just read a book all day. Good times.

I took a nap yesterday too. It was awesome. You know, when I think about it, I've never really had a bad nap. Have you?

Steven Wright is coming to town!?

Grocery shopping tonight.

Comedy at Shadow Lounge on Monday. Drag your sorry ass out there!

Comedy at Remedy November 9th. Don't say you haven't been warned!

Man, Bon Jovi aren't what they used to be.

Possible Halloween Las Vegas trip? Haven't been there in a year, and I need a few days away from the apt. Time will tell.

Phil Collins is the only logical choice at a time like this.-BK

Megan Fox is so hot, standing next to her gives Chad a sunburn.

Gnarly.

Overtime all the time!

Comedy show Wednesday at Affogato. Be there or be somewhere else.

Third nipple.

It is really hot for October. Really, really, hot for October actually.

Read Night Shift by Stephen King. It's short stories, so you can come and go as you please if you're not down with "big" books.

I had eight Entennemann's donuts, soy milk, and Iron City/Straub for dinner last night. Oddly, I don't feel all that bad.

Sleeping naked is the best!-BK

A positive impact.

My Mini-DV cam will become a reality on November 6th! Possibly earlier, but November 6th fo' sho! I am more excited about this than words can express at 6:51 on a Sunday morning.

I looked at a 4,500 dollar puppy at the pet store yesterday. Artificial insemination? Really? Indeed.

Seth Rogan hosted SNL last night. It was rather "meh." Spoon is wayyyyyy overrated as well. I went to bed after Update. Lame McGuyver ripoff(s) as well. Fred Armisen does a killer Gene Simmons though, I almost fell off my chair laughing. Luckily, I was pretty drunk, and barely able to move.

Spin, Blender, and especially Rolling Stone need to really stop giving Pete Wentz so much coverage. The guy is all hype and no substance! Christ, I am the only person in America who sees this?!

Writing a little more than usual lately. What other comedian do you know who does three minutes on the Outer Banks of North Carolina? Ben Kenny innovates yet again!

New work schedule today. More overtime is available to me. We shall see how it works out, yo.


Sexy, sensual messages./Picture yourself in a boat, on a river, with tangerine trees, and marmalade skies...-BK

Fuck you Kirk Cameron.

Why would I, a smart, well-read, free-thinkin' kinda guy watch religious television?

Simple.

I like a good laugh every once in a while. Extremely fake people asking for real money while singing about/praising their (mostly)fake God. Bibles for the Third World, hate speech, and anti-abortion rants just tickle my insides with a double dose of idiocy and foolish pride! "Christians" are always good for a laugh when you're feelin' a little down. Thanks Christian media! Ben Kenny needed that!

Show tomorrow night. SCHTOKED!

I like mac n' cheese!-BK

I'm interested in applying for a job.

Today, US Airways cut 450+ jobs at the airport. Bummer for those people, but it's expected from a company like that. Tens of millions of dollars to build a flight ops center, paint NFL edition aircraft, and pay outrageous bonuses to CEOs, but not enough green to figure out a way to keep people at work instead of on unemployment!. If US Airways goes bankrupt, (again!) I wouldn't really give a fuck either way, but I hope the employees can land on their feet. It's a shitty job market in PGH that's for sure!

Overtime this morning. Sleepytime tonight!

The War on PBS has concluded. Really moving, intimate stuff. Check it out if you can. I found it odd that they chose to ignore the contributions of the Hispanic community, but what do I know, I'm just a baggage handler!

Hey! Check out Ron Paul! Seriously! He's an American for the Constitution!!! Vote! Discuss! Bring troops home! Strengthen America!

I guess so.-BK

You know, I wanna do it again!

Look for Ben-daddy in Chicago in late November for my cousin's wedding and Thanksgiving. I can hear the questions now: "Still no girlfriend, huh?" "Why did you move to Pittsburgh again?" "I hear you're moving home to go to some comedy school!?" Joy.

The show at Remedy went good. The owners were cool, and gave Ben Kenny free beer. This makes Ben Kenny very, very happy! Ben Kenny would perform at Remedy again anytime! Props to Steve Swanson for having me out!

Been working overtime "up the wazoo" lately, which is rad. I'm looking forward to being able to buy new shoes! Not nice shoes either, just simple, everyday shoes.

Stir-fry is delicious!

See you later!-BK