Fake chicken nugget time!

Well, I fucking did it. Finally.

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Subscribe, and follow virtually constant updates about the banal aspects of my daily "life." I'm going to "tweet" the fuck out of this town! This will make my Facebook status update frequency look pathetic. Be warned.

George Michael is like the Superman of the entertainment industry. Only one thing can kill him, but no one seems to know what it is. As an entertainer, I idolize the guy. Killer style, great voice, and unshakable confidence. Cool for thirty years now. Think about that for a second. Thirty fucking years in an industry as picky as music! Massive ability. Massive!


Seether's cover of this song is absolutely horrid, but everyone in Pittsburgh is too stupid to realize it.


Mmm... that George Michael was pretty tasty. Best to chase him with some Meat Loaf.


Meat Loaf is one of those performers whose art is only really effective when he's going full bore, 100%, no mercy, kill em' all, no fear style. Great art is about sweat, passion, heart, and flair. Meat Loaf had it in troves. He had(still has) a surplus of ass kicking talent.

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Speaking of extraordinary talent, I put on pants, and went out in the rain to perform for about six people tonight. A lot of comedians are too "big" for a room like that, but fuck them. I had a great time, and more importantly, I was funny! I'd rather be performing for six people than no one, any night of the week, any place, anytime.

I think comedians who think a show is below them are fucking stupid. Especially in Pittsburgh. Blow me if you disagree, but please, be classy about it. By "classy" I mean no teeth.

Two days off. What to do?

I know! Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. Eat some cookies, maybe make a little mac n' cheese, and sleep.

Being in Chicago for Easter kind of reaffirmed how lame the town is. It doesn't suck or anything, but it's not the greatest place ever. People are always surprised to find out I'm from the Windy City, and have willingly moved away from it. It's just a town, a place. It is the kind of place you make it out to be, I guess. I just didn't really want to live there forever. So I moved. Simple, right?

Honestly though, I will never move back to Chicago. Too much to see. Too much to do.

Been frying up some eggplant as of late. Shit's really good.

Monday, in addition to being the anniversary/remembrance of the Oklahoma City bombing, Waco massacre, Hitler's birthday, and pot smoker day, is the Shadow Lounge! I'll be there talking about all/some/none of the above, and I'll be worth watching. As if I wasn't enough to draw you away from whatever bullshit network reality television you watch every Monday, other comedians will be there too! I guarantee at least one good joke that sexualizes food. I think that's the Columbine anniversary too, but I celebrate that every hour of every day, so I'm not certain.

It's kind of weird, scary, and disturbing how much common ground I can find with a lot of the "extremists" in the world today. I think my atheism and relative lack of views based on race/ethnicity keep me on the other side of the river from most of them, and I'm pretty thankful and happy for that.

Politically, I firmly believe that the government's role and influence in the daily lives of Americans should be severely reduced, but I don't believe government itself is evil by default. I think once any entity gets too big and too old, it starts to die, and attempts to validate itself through domination. I also believe peanut butter anything is delicious!

It's not "gyro" you douches! A gyro stabilizes something. When's the last time you didn't have to shit within hours of eating one?! The Defense rests, Your Honor.-BK