If you only hear it in the night.

This house is going to fucking be mine, and it's both exciting and utterly terrifying.

It takes roughly, 4:13 to get home from Belvedere's whilst drunk at 1:24 in the morning with, in the words of the Konkdaddy, "a mighty poo a-brewin'." Thought you might like to know that. Don't know how long it will take with the new place. It's further, and by common logic, longer, so I may need to locate, field test, explore, and refine, "emergency" option(s.)

Hey fuck-suck! Yes, you! Got nothing to do on Saturday night!? Well, you and your associate(s), family members, pussy/cock connection(s), and life-long friends should come out to the Royal Place, and watch me win the comedy contest. That's right, I intend to dominate the fuck out of it! This is where lesser comedians (i.e. every comedian not Ben Kenny) would beg you to vote for them, but I know that you will anyways, as I'm going to be miles above and kilometers further than any other comic there. That's a guarantee you can take to the motherfucking bank! Please use PNC though, as I hate service fees.

Seriously, my beloved bitches, it's only five bucks, and the drinks are about as cheap as you're ass is gonna find in the Iron City on a Saturday night. Besides, it would mean a significant amount of a lot to me if yinz folks could make it out. Tell them you came to see Ben Kenny, and make sure your bring protection. It's going to be like a Gallagher show, circa 1987, but with slightly less blood and screaming. Contact me for more info and directions, or just if you're feeling lonely and need a friendly finger or two to ride. I offer the fingers, because I'm drunk on the weekends, and I get mad whiskey dick.

I used to have khaki Dickies. Sometimes, in the middle of the night/early morning, like when this was written, I sigh, and miss them with all of my heart.

Here's a song that is not heard nearly enough these days.


Eighties was pretty "off" feeling last night. Or perhaps it just felt that way because I was sober.

Anyone dumb enough to let family manage their career deserves to lose money.-BK