I don't understand how Sesame Street could so cold.

It's interesting. Human beings in large groups. Odd, because when talking one-on-one with someone, or even in a small group of friends, most people are decently intelligent, i.e., they can hold conversations, be courteous and respectful, and maintain some semblance of civility.

In large groups in public spaces, however, people tend to lose most of their manners, and revert to a status somewhere between caveman and Southern Baptist. People go against the movement of the crowd, stop in front of simple, non-written signage in the midst of moving crowds, and talking either entirely too loud, or entirely to softly. Add in a few more grunts, and you'd think you were watching the world de-evolving before your very eyes, which, in a way, it's actually doing.

Fortunately, I am still able to travel through these human cattle herds quite well. I travel well because I travel light, I know where I'm going, and I focus on getting there.

You probably haven't seen Idiocracy, but like Wall-E, it really can't be too far off from what the future will actually resemble.



Terry Crews kills it!


Overtime today, overtime tomorrow, hours and days running into each other, time is but a series of numbers. MorningStar fake meat tastes the same. People talk about sports without end. I will drink beer tomorrow, it will be loud, and I will be relaxed.

Really looking forward to Sunday night. Should be a fun time. It always is. Need to blow off some of the stress of the week.

China is censoring people's access to the media, and prohibiting most public protests at the games. Only now are people in an uproar about this, which fucking reeks of bullshit and hypocrisy.

The International Olympic Committee should never have allowed the games to be held in a country like China, and Communism has very little to do with it.

China is the number one polluter on earth. China oppresses the religious practices of it's citizens. Chinese workers are exploited by the government, and by companies(which do a lot business with Wal-Mart and other U.S. firms) everyday. Hopefully, when you're drinking from your "Olympic Special Edition" can of Coke, you can take a little time to think about what a luxury that simple can of Coke would be to a lot of people in China.

Hopefully a few of the athletes at the games will have the courage to make a stand for Tibet, for religious freedom, for human rights, for the environment, and for basic human kindness the world over.

Fuck it, what would it matter anyways? It would make front page news for a day or three, and then Americans and people in the First World would return to our fat slovenly way of life, never questioning where and how our clothes and electronics got made, but bitching incessantly about the price of oil. After all, we're meeting friends at T.G.I. Fridays later for Jack Daniel's burgers.

I hope I don't twist my ankle when I get off of my high horse.

You know why this song has been in my head all day? Because it's "Tony the Tiger and Kool-Aid Man." OH YEAH!! GRRRREEEAT!!!

I could be stuck on a desert island, or at work, and listening to this song incessantly would make it bearable! Respect Madonna.



I'll trade you a Monday for two Fridays and dinner.-BK

Holy Shit! Sorry, I meant GEE GOLLY!!

The end is near. 5 more hours and then some sleep. Pure, sweaty, rejuvenating sleep. I slept less than three hours last night, which, when you're staring down the barrel at twenty-five years of age, isn't as easy to do as when I was young.

Since I've been spending a good deal of not so quality time here in the airport this week, it makes sense that I've been pooping here too.

Pooping isn't a big deal to a lot of people, but, if you couldn't tell by now, I'm not a lot of people. I prefer pooping only in my home. It's not so much a cleanliness thing as it is a privacy and comfort thing. I will hold my bowels in until I can make it home, often for hours at a time, but that just isn't practical when virtually trapped at the airport.

Good thing this airport has a more than adequate "S.S.L." That's right, a "Secret Shit Location." I'm not going to tell you where it's located, but I can tell you that it is surgically clean, has six stalls, is entirely deserted, and classical music plays over the loudspeaker.

In summation, it's a good place to take a crap. A worthy stand-in commode. I only wish there were birds chirping, and maybe my neighbor using profanity at and around her two toddlers(different dads!). Then it would be just like home. It's still sweet though. Almost like being paid to poop, I suppose.

Still with me??? Damn. You're a tenacious one!

In other news, I've been writing new material and bringing old ideas to the comedic market in my head. It feels very good to be doing so.

Right now, the scope of things I'm creating/writing/riffing on is wide, like the floodlights of a snowplow. I need to narrow my creativity to a focused, effective beam, kind of like an Audi with a LED headlight system that passes you at 45mph when there's four inches of snow on the ground. I need to be that singularly focused prick.

This is what creativity is all about. Mad Men. Every episode is a Pandora's Box of humor, drama, success, pain, confusion, deviant acts, moral fortitude, etc... watch it. I watch it at work if it's on, when I can, but I'm seriously thinking of getting it on DVD. Everything about this show is cool, and not a damn thing about it seems forced. That's the mark of cool I suppose, being effortless. Gary Grant had it, Kanye West has it, and I'm trying my ass off to look like I could one day possibly, kinda-sorta, attain it.


I missed The Police. Some said I missed a great show. Others said I didn't miss much at all.

This always brightens up a dreary day for me.


It's always funny how a mere ten minutes of rain will make your feet wet for an entire double shift. Funny like Dane Cook.

1421 is on the ground for Alpha 1.-BK

That's very tragic. Where is my sandwich?

What could be better than spending 18 hours at the airport, covered in sweat, fretting about your (lack of) finances, and watching ESPN by proxy??

You guessed it, getting to do it two days in a row! Oh well, at least the last 8.5 hours of my own personal Magical Mystery Tour will be payed out as overtime.

Overtime Thursday and maybe Friday as well. I'm gonna use the money to live off of. Class system at work.

Excited about a show Friday night. Interesting, creative, bands/artists playing a relatively intimate venue. Signs point to "awesome!!!"

New work schedule for August. Saturday and Sunday off. The sharing of days off with the majority of the working world gives me ample reason to stay inside all weekend and write. Or sleep. Who are we kidding Ben? I'm gonna sleep like a rock star.

I will be back on the comedy beat in August. I owe it to myself. I owe it to the empty chairs across greater(ha!) Pittsburgh. I owe it to my future!

I'm developing a "thing" for her. Damn you penis and sensitive side! Damn you both! It's in the eyes.


California had an earthquake today. Seems like it was the first one in a while for them. Secretly, I want to see what happened in China a few months back happen to Southern California. Broken bones, crushed homes, and the poorly tattooed arms of the dead poking on out from the rubble of tanning salons and Buffalo Wild Wing franchises. Blissful.

I was singing this all day long. Loudly. Badly. Fatly.


Gotta get the profit nuggets out!-BK

Coasting up the hills of life.

Because it is very hot, and I was virtually naked anyways, I decided to take a journey through my very modest but totally disturbing collection of pornography today.

It was like visiting an old German friend you haven't seen in a while, and when you do see them, you remember why you don't see them more often. Fuck it, I'm sure it will all be removed as evidence someday anyways.

I was reading an article about Jack LaLanne today. Virtually vegetarian/vegan, active, and opinionated. He kicks ass and takes names. He's 93 years old and could probably kick my ass. Few people on this earth inspire me, but he's probably one of them.

Mr. Rogers is another one of them.


I fall out of my chair every time I watch that. It is so wrong and evil, but it is F-U-N-N-Y!!

This is what "keeping it real" is all about.


Kids today, especially kids growing up in the democratic abortion known as "America," need an icon/mentor who isn't plastered all over t-shirts and lunch boxes.

Who will be the new Mr. Rogers? Who is brave enough? Who will put them on the air because it is the good, right, thing to do, not because they want to make money?

Hard Candy is a great film. One of the marks of a well-made movie is how you feel when you're in the moment, actually watching it. This one makes you feel very, very confused. It's a genius juxtaposition of innocence mixed with sadism, intelligence clashing with instincts, and desire overpowering judgement. It's really, really good.


I need to mop the floor. I haven't mopped it since I moved in. In April.

That's a good pizza-selling racket.-BK

Have a motherfucking go at it.

I was torn yesterday. Would I spend another night in Chicago, sloth-like, content, and with a belly full of pizza, or return to Pittsburgh, and dance myself into oblivion?

You know what I did.

It was worth sitting next to the old man and the impossibly cute lady who spoke of their adoration for Obama for over an hour. I was nicely buzzed when I got off the plane. I headed to the club in my "street" clothes, and proceeded to get "Nick Nolte" drunk by about one AM. Somewhere between one and two thirty, I got to the peak of drunk. The perfect drunk. Utopia drunk. "Robert Downey Jr." drunk! Good times with great people.

Sometimes, life is just perfect, if only for a brief, fleeting moment. Those moments, however, can be stored in the soul and used for sustenance until another one comes along to refuel you.

After witnessing the epic amounts of money and effort my parents and their friends put into attending Jimmy Buffet shows, I'm convinced the man is running some sort of a cult. He has his own shitty beer, his own shitty tequila, his own shitty restaurants, his own shitty radio station, his own shitty clothing line, and his own shitty island somewhere. It all perfectly complements his supremely shitty music.

Jimmy Buffet is like a musical casino. You wander in, and when you want to leave, you have to fight your way back out, often getting distracted by some garish thing.

One thing's for sure. You'll leave poorer than when you came in, but as long as you had fun, I guess it's worth it. After all, not everyone has, will have, or can be taught, good taste.

I found red pants in Chicago.

Just one video after all them fancy words, but it's a doozy!


Duran Duran will never lose "it." Still cooler than whatever shit bands you listen to! Dance into the fire!

Well, guess I should put on clothes now.

That's bad. Potentially really bad.-BK

Batman has no limits.

Crazy solo dance mission went down yesterday. It was 80's night at Neo, possibly, quite possibly, my new favorite club on earth. Dirty, loud, well-made drinks, great DJs, and 100% smoke-free! For those of you not familiar, Chicago liquor licenses(and club hours) run until 4am. I rolled in at midnight, danced for about four hours, virtually non-stop. It was awesome. Awesome!!!

I was gonna see if I could weasel out a bit o' stagetime while I was here, but truthfully, I'm so unmotivated right now it's retarded. Besides, Chicago is not necessarily a good place for young comics, as it only breeds people who tend to, essentially, be copycats of eachother. I have no desire to copy, be influenced, or be mentored by any other comics(which is why I stay away from club open mics), and there seems to be a lot of "big brothering" from what relatively little I've seen of the Chicago scene. There are also a lot of big egos without the talent/creativity/originality/experience/balls/talent/talent/talent to back it up.

In short, I was secretly using this trip as a "feeler." Something to see if I'm ready to move back here. I am pleasantly surprised and rather pleased to say that I have no desire to move back here at the moment. Pittsburgh prevails!

It was great however, to drive through the city again. Really big cities always take on the persona of a sleeping giant in the late evening/early morning hours. So much space and beautiful facades, seemingly abandoned, waiting to be filled in a few short hours, taken for granted, and then allowed to hibernate briefly again, before repeating the cycle. Pittsburgh is not like that, and I'm not sure I want it to be, but just a little more honest, not too commercial or corporate, spirit/attitude is something it most certainly could use.

I've taken pictures of my dog like new mothers from the horribly named suburbs take pictures of their horribly named kids. I shall post those in the future, at some point. My dog is cooler than your dog, family, lover, and you. He might live 6 more months or 2 more years. He is having trouble with his back legs i.e. sitting/standing/stairs, but his spirit is as vibrant as it always has been. I am ultra happy to be spending time with him!

The greatest synth-pop song of all time?



Quite fucking possibly, friends and strangers, quite fucking possibly.

Two days left. I plan to make the most of it. This means I'm going to lay around for the rest of today and start drinking around 7. Pray for me. I'll need it.

Your hair is beautiful, oh tonight. Atomic!-BK

Come get some.

Man oh man, chilling at your parents' house is fucking sweet. I've eaten at least a pound of free, hot, unhealthy food, am not sweating at all, not even a little, and am currently watching Army of Darkness on Comcast On Demand. I'm drinking a rum and Diet Coke. A big, stiff one. Of course pun intended. Life is good for me at the moment.

Although I work for an airline, I still have to really steel myself against getting airsick when the plane is on final approach. I hate that. I've never gotten airsick, never even needed to grap the airsickness bag, but I always, always get a little weird on approach to Chicago, Philly, etc... It's probably because air traffic control puts planes through "s-turns" in order to make enough room for all the traffic. Grr.

----THIS JUST IN----

My parents have Sun Chips! Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips! Visiting my parents' house is now my personal version of going on a cruise or something!

Oh yeah, that rum in my Diet Coke? Bacardi! I feel just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman! Please note, however, that I do not have sex with either(or both) of my parents. That's too weird. Even for me.

Anyways, it's always weird to come back to the town you grew up in. Even minute changes are noticable after you've been away for a while, and all the old smells of your childhood home, backyard, and just the air itself tend to make one feel all warm and fuzzy. Come to think of it, maybe it's the rum...

Sometimes you gotta break.


Billy Connolly. He's like Robin Williams, if Robin Williams happened to be Scottish, and funny.


Back to leisure.-BK

A pain.

It only seems to rain while I'm actually at work, but this morning, it was raining as I woke up. Because I like sleep and often prepare for my day at a continental drift-like pace, I forgot to add the extra "stupid motherfuckers can't drive in the rain, ARGH!" time to my commute. I cut it close, but I made it in on time. Harrowing.

The Dark Knight is an amazing work of art. Even if Heath Ledger hadn't ridden the pill train to heaven, his performance would still be lauded as masterful. It really is something to see. He upstaged Christian Bale, which is something that's hard to do, as Christian Bale is one of the finest actors currently working. The film runs a little long, but it, like Wall-E before it, is one of those movies meant to be seen at a theater, so see it at a theater if you have the chance. Even if you aren't much for superheroes(loser!) it's a great story dealing with loss, self discipline, and hard choices. Joker's "pencil trick" is breathtakingly good. I felt bad for laughing, but I did.

I think I should copyright "breathtakingly." I seem to be the only person who uses this word.

I was born twenty years too late. Everything sucks now. I want to be 18 and listening to Dr. Feelgood while wearing my new Swatch, drinking an Orange Julius in the back of my friend's IROC-Z on our way to the mall to see about buying a pair of those new Pumps.

She's dead. Who cares what her name was?


Sisters of Mercy


Erasure(saw them last year, still very, very, good.)


The Crue!(their new single is pretty good.)


Chicago begins tomorrow. Gonna eat some actual, tasty, pleasing to the mouth pizza and tease my dog. Other than that, no big plans.

I keeps it fresh like a New York City hot dog vendor, bitches!-BK

Tom's Diner

I overdrew the shit out of my checking account. Having fun, paying for gas, and cleaning up poop is not cheap. Look for me to be living a la monk/poor person for the next two weeks, peanut butter and jelly style.

This is rock and roll. Nobody I know who is into music seems to be aware of this phenomenal band. Eagles of Death Metal bring the fun and stay for the afterparty. They don't seem like the kind of people who drink light beer either, which gives them cool points in the bonus rounds. I met these guys back in Denver and they are the real deal. Respect.

I Want You So Hard


Only Want You


You see? I told ya! Rock and roll!

I get to see The Dark Knight today!

Taking pictures of your dick with (someone else's) digital camera just isn't as magical.

Oh Christ I'm poor.-BK

Advice from a fourteen year-old.

Last night was so fucking lackluster. Not stoked on spending three bucks for a simple Coke. Which I did anyways. Three fucking times.

No one in Pittsburgh ever wants to have fun. Even when they leave their house. A key ingredient in fun? ENTHUSIASM!

Hot and sweaty. Sweltering apartment. I've seen Fight Club 65 times. Why not watch it again?

My favorite working comic. I watch his DVD at least twice a month.


For some inexplicable and forever unknown reason, just like it's brethren Joe Dirt, Grandma's Boy gets better and better after repeated viewings.


This is what extraordinary looks like. Pay close attention round' about 1:42 in! Gnar!


Looking forward to Illinois. Mostly because my parents' home is air-conditioned.

Nothing could be further from the truth, my friend.-BK

Nightmare.

I need to change pants.

High on life.

Some people are just too beautiful. She is a living doll, and I never, ever want to meet her. It would crush my perception of her.

In Chicago next week, for sure and for certain. Wednesday night through Sunday morning.

I love how Chicago is no longer "home." I'm home right now.

Big party tomorrow. Getting all weirded out for it. I expect to have a boatload of fun, and I will.

The leg has been docile all week, but I'm still watching over it like a mother penguin.

Why do fingernails exist? What purpose do they serve? I mean, I know the pinky nail is intended for use as a coke spoon, but I don't do coke, so... what then? What?

Who says the British are high class!?


Depeche Mode gets a trifle of the respect and adoration they deserve. This is one of my top ten favorite songs of all time. Listen to it on a good pair of headphones, with your eyes closed. Exquisite.


I never got busy in a Burger King bathroom, but I used to get high behind the freezer at Wendy's everyday.


Gotta sleep on it.-BK

No time available to kill.

Three more days until the new Batman. I'm going midday if you wanna hang with me.

I'm getting really, really, good at being poor, but this is Pittsburgh, so I guess I'm just normal.

Even European dance-pop is more advanced than ours.


SHOW MONDAY NIGHT!!!! New Iraq War material I've been dying to try. If you're uncouth and classless, you're sure to find it hilarious.

Someone please explain to me why it is fashionable to print patterns off-of-center on clothing these days? It's fucking gross looking!

Timeless.

I am laying on my floor, and I do not plan to get up until it's dark.

We gotta get this to the hangar.-BK

Be strong now.

Great night last night. The most fun I've had on a dance floor in quite a while.

Sadly, I suffered a very deep, personal, tragic loss yesterday. My favorite pair of dancin' pants are no more. The search begins for their replacement(s). No thrift store rack is safe from scrutiny. In lieu of flowers, please send monetary donations to my account at PNC bank. Thanks.

Ultra fantastic right here.


I will always like Lenny Kravitz. Always.


When a plane is scheduled to land at 1735, it should land at 1735, not 1654. A man like me cannot just poop on a whim.

Lazy Monday on the bed.-BK

Time to up and quit this bastard.

If you're down, you obviously already own Zero 7's phenomenal new album The Garden. If not, I would highly suggest it's purchase. It's electronic, jazzy, groovy, sexy and generally really, really good. It's like your ears are eating candy but there's no stomachache tracks anywhere on this record. Tasty. Fucking tasty.

Friday is going to be fantastic. Fetish party AND the new Batflick. Holy white mohawk, shiny shoes, black latex necktie and gloves Batman!

I saw the most gangster-ass 747(older than me, I checked the registration) today at the airport. It was owned by Northwest Airlines and the Catholic diocese of Pittsburgh was making a chartered journey from PIT, to Hawaii, to somewhere in Australia. Those people must have unshakable confidence and belief in their moral superiority, as I would be very, very nervous flying on that sky-beast. It was leaking fuel by the gallon as well. Always a good sign.

This is Pittsburgh young/new comedians. I know you all got the fire, but there's nothing flammable in this town. Don't burn out. Keep the pilot on, and look towards the future. I opened my NEW YORK CITY savings account last month. I put virtually nothing in it, but it's better than an actual nothing. I will be moving there, in the very, very, distant but oh so tangible future.

If you don't attempt to live a dream, you aren't living, you're just mechanical.

Leg is back to about 80%, as is most of my Buddha-esque body. I throw bags in extreme weather with poor posture. I will never be 100% again. I sometimes worry about my future health, but then I think about my grandfather. He's into his eighties and "walks" a few miles every morning, mows acres of grass once or twice a week, plays tennis, and basically kicks the ass of everyone around him in terms of energy and general radness. He can even outdrink me. Until a few years ago, he had never been to a hospital for any sort of surgery. How did he make his living? He delivered appliances for decades. Not today's appliances either. We're talking lead-lined and cumbersome as hell, before the days of OSHA and worker's comp. I have 25% of his genetic build, and my other grandparents are/weren't slouches in the physical department either, so I'm kind of excited about being/growing older. My back hair is coming in nicely, and I'll have a sweet bald spot by 28 or so, so it's happening already.

How do I know I'm gettin' older?

There are people with driver's licenses who might not get the jokes in this:


I can see your point, but remember, I'm smarter than you.-BK

This ban should be permanent.

Last night was so anticlimactic it was ridiculous. I'm not saying I had a bad time or anything, but it was just not as fun as it usually is. Oh well. When life gives you lemons, you get a shotgun, and demand your money.

Thrill Kill Kult show in Pittsburgh! I'm there. I hear Filter is coming around too. I've never seen Filter, which is a travesty, both as a Chicagoan, and an Industrial scenester. Good times for sure.

Might be laying low this weekend. The leg is much, much better, but I'm not taking any chances with it.

I walked around my neighborhood today. I saw a little snake. It slithered away from me in quite a hurry. My evilness affirmed, I went home and drank cherry soda. Not cherry cola, actual red as blood cherry soda. Oh yes. Delicious.

Judging from this, I could move to India and attain dance transcendence.


Fucking clogs suck. I need a clog version of the dog whisperer or something. Anybody know any effeminate Latin plumbers out there?

I can't take it with me.

Hear me, I'm calling.

When I was young, and would leave articles of clothing laying around my room haphazardly, my mother would often say; "Ben Kenny, one day you're going to care very much about what you wear, and I won't be there to wash and fold things for you!!!" I did not believe her, but, as mothers have a nasty tendency of being, she was correct. She's dead wrong about Jimmy Buffet though. Jimmy Buffet fucking sucks!

Random articles of clothing which need to be added to my increasingly fabulous arsenal... (If you happen to live in the greater(ha!) Pittsburgh area and see these things at a store, shoot me an email. If I buy the item, I buy you a drink.)

1. Low top Converse All-Stars, in red. (Not the One-Star stuff from Target, which is actually quite nice.)

2. White dress shoes. No slip-ons. No intricate patterns.

3. Short-sleeved purple, red, navy, dark green and brown dress shirts. NO BUTTON-DOWN COLLARS!!!

4. Black Denim Jacket. Levi's preferred, but not a deal-breaker.

5. Red jeans and/or dress pants.

6. Combat boots in whole leather, no canvas panels.

7. Black shorts, with NO cargo pockets.

8. Solid in color, utterly devoid of design, silver and/or black cuff links and tie pin.

Fashion is not about trends or modernity. It's about wearing what you want, how you want, but being put together while doing it. For example, I never wear heavily patterned t shirts, or polo shirts, but I love shoes/sneakers that have enough pattern to catch the eye, but lack bright colors I see in every store today. Neon in more than six or seven square inches and combined with two other shades of neon is fucking GROSS looking. Also, a hoodie, no matter how well patterned and fitting, is never appropriate for "dress up" type clubs/dance floors.

I'm such a faggot. Sorry.
-------

I was drunk by 2pm today. Not a record by any stretch, but I'm still proud of it, and smug about it.

If you don't listen to Praga Khan, you don't listen to Techno. Sheesh! Can you believe the youth these days!?

Ladytron - Sugar


Sneaker Pimps - Six Underground(My God, this chick knows how to look into a lens!)


Gattaca is way better than watching midget porn.


The leg is much better today, but maybe being drunk has something to do with that.

Taking it easy like the Eagles used to. Unlike them, I don't sell things at Wal-Mart.

350 bucks for a fucking beanbag chair?-BK

Leave no alternative.

Ugh. How do all you "normal" type folks keep 9-5 hours? It's only been three days, and I'm dying. I can't sleep at night, and I have no energy to do anything after work. Even better, I now catch both rush hours on Pittsburgh's outstanding(for 1968) highway system.

My left quad is on fire. It doesn't hurt when I'm stagnant, but when I get up and move, it is almost agonizingly painful to walk on. Maybe this is the limp I've been waiting for. It seems to be getting worse. Luckily, I'm off work for two days, so maybe things will "chillax" a bit, and I won't have to go to the clinic, and/or on medical leave. Not cool.

I saw WALL-E again after work. See it. It's phenomenal.


If you see one movie in a movie theater this year, see it. Seriously. For mad real, yo.


While working a double shift yesterday, I came to a point where I'd consumed all of the substantial amount of food I usually bring with me, but still in need of more nourishment. I decided to go to McDonald's for a milkshake.

McDonald's is the most prevalent restaurant in America, yet people still scan the menu, which, at most, has about 25 items that never really change, and take tons of my valuable time up ordering. It's not like you've never seen a McDonald's menu before! Chhhhhhhhrrrrist Almighty!

It is less humid here in the 'Burgh today, which makes me more happy.

Always keeping the ol' stinkeye open in search of shows. I'll let you, my loyal legion of readers, know when and if I "book" something.

You gotta FIGHT for your right! Sadly, you have do this even while "defending your freedom."

This kind of beats the bar scene actually.

I cleaned today. Apparently, my carpet is navy blue. Who would of thunk it?

Va Jay-Jay!!!!-BK

This is our destiny. Kill them.

No overtime today. I am not pleased, as I'm now forced to rearrange my home, clean dishes, and do laundry.

Last night was fun. Good dance floor, interesting people, and I started the evening off with what was quite possibly the best piece of pizza I've eaten in Pittsburgh.

Unfortunately, I witnessed a fight at my after hours bar, which sucked. I'm not a hero. I don't jump in and say "break it up." I almost had to though, because when a dude is literally about to get his head stomped on, a line of decency and fairness has to be drawn. Whether he "deserved" it or not, head-stomping is not cool, as he might become a vegetable, and a further drain on my tax dollars as well. See, I'm all about self-preservation in the end.

Actually, this is probably the first fight I've really seen in PGH that has "run it's course" as most fights are broken up by bouncers/friends before any real damage is done. Also, I tend to drink/dance at places populated by people dressed in black. Despite our fearsome appearance, we're usually a cool bunch, and get along with each other well enough.

In the beginning, Rock and Roll begat Punk. Punk begat Goth. Goth begat Emo. Whatever is next, it's sure to be effeminate and trendy, but will still be Rock and Roll at it's core..

Whatever the era, genre, or scene, Danzig is a safe bet.


I haven't been riding my bike as much as I'd like. Rhyming not intended, but not regretted.

Sleep is my sanctuary.-BK

You're a sweetheart.

I went dancing tonight. Dressed up. Sweated through my clothing, including my tie. Felt alive. Felt the floor. Felt my legs, torso, and arms moving about. Felt fucking alive!

No days off for quite a while, if things work in my favor.

In Chicago for a few around the 23rd-26th? Maybe, but probably will just get lost in the West Virginia backwoods. I got my overalls and un-ironic Coors hat ready.

This is really good. "Cute" some would say.


NIN - Echoplex


Need to get more stage time. I've been off this month. Doing shows for seven people in Crafton just doesn't get the blood flowing.

A perfect song.


Easy Mac, Tabasco, and Bacos(which are vegan.)-BK

Clean as a whistle.

Song lyrics | Airbag lyrics

Making every promise empty. Pointing every finger at me.

Fourth of July only really serves to remind me of how the America I grew up believing in is dying before my eyes.

Good thing we're still free to murder people(as long as they're unarmed minorities).

I saw WALL*E twice yesterday. I cried a few times. I laughed a good deal. I mostly just sat in stunned silence. This is one of the greatest films ever! EVER! Go see it.

I'm feeling a bit of "white guilt" today, so hear ya go.

The first three minutes are exceptional. The rest is good too.


I love Terry Crews.




Let's get it done.-BK

Appetite running fast, following my gut, turning up every rock.

I write to the world today from an almost utopian state of drunken bliss. I am very close to passing out, but my thought process seems to be relatively unencumbered by the alcohol, as I've been drinking a mere two beers an hour, but, I've been consistent. After all, valued motherfuckers and friends, it's been six hours of two beers an hour, which is twelve beers. Figure not much more food than a salad and mini pizza into the equation and you get a state of "the Gnar." The Gnar allows me to really let loose a little, not in typewritten form, mind you, but in a more, "loud, annoying-ass, neighbor" form. Fuck my neighbors, as they smoke a lot of dope, and know that I will not be reluctant to call the cops on them. I hope those bastard cocksuckers play another Linkin Park song. I double-dog dared them, but I seriously doubt they can make it happen.

Much closer to passing out now, as writing is thought consuming and challenging.

I would marry Melissa Auf der Mar.

Close friends of the hardcore Ben Kenny multimedia experience understand how significant this statement is. We would live in a very old building, and our spawn(children) would be classically trained in the bass, black arts, and financial speculation. I would eat her pussy everyday of the week, and twice on Sunday, you know, just to spit in God's face.


Ever seen Death Race 2000? It is perhaps the "blackest" comedy ever written. The gist is that drivers(in a dystopian future) get points for killing civilians. It's awesome, and makes me smile, and giggle a little. Find it on DVD.


They're "reimagining" it with Jason Statham, the lovely Joan Allen, and Ian McShane. It's should to be entertaining!

Go to Z-Lounge on Wednesdays from now on. Even if you don't live in Pittsburgh. Fly in. It's worth it.

Made of stars, so I'm gassy, to say the least.-BK

Open your mind and shut your eyes.

I sometimes(very, very often) wish I could live in a monochromatic penthouse apartment in some neon metropolis like Tokyo or Moscow.

I'd wear custom Italian suits, black of course. My ties and shirts would be of such a fine thread count that I'd shave my arms and chest just to feel more of them against my skin.

My furniture would be metallic and without padding. Most of the flat surfaces would be mirrored or transparent.

It would be solar-powered, and "green" in construction.

I would own a Black Labrador and a Great Dane.

Dancing would be my religion.

I would go to bed a few hours after the sun rose...

...and listen to music like this:

The Sounds - Painted by Numbers


Interpol - Slow Hands



Dave Gahan - Kingdom


Through my comedy, I will one day make these dreams my reality.

-BK

Kill Anna?

Even though I live 800 miles from the place, Chicago Cubs fans piss me off to no end. I don't really care either way for baseball, and I try not to act totally bored when forced to watch it, but I DO NOT CARE for many Chicago Cubs fans.

Liking the Cubs doesn't make you cool, indie, hip, a part of some "fraternity," or even a baseball fan.

It just means you're a follower, and if you were born south of Downtown Chicago, it makes you a fucking traitor to the team and neighborhood(s) your parents, aunts, uncles, and grandparents grew up in and with.

Also, as a group, Cub fans tend to be very mean-spirited and "Holier than thou," which there is never an excuse for in sports. Liking and supporting a team is one thing, a good thing, but slamming anyone who doesn't drink overpriced, watered down beer in Wrigleyville is uncouth and classless.

Go finish your Master's degrees, and GO CHICAGO WHITE SOX!!!! (Sweepity sweep sweep!)

Cub fan A: "Bro, does this American Eagle polo go with my Cubs hat."

Cub fan B: "Dude, it's totally sweet. Let's do some kegstands and fuck some bitches tonight!"

Cub fans embrace. Unabashedly homoerotically. Jack Johnson plays softly in the background.

-------

Took in Wanted after work. It's a nice little summer action movie, just a little formulaic and effects heavy, but worth the ticket price for sure.

A very cool coworker and friend, Kim, saw a poster for The Dark Knight and bought it for me, because she knows how excited I am not only about the movie, but about the poster itself, which is, quite possibly, the best movie poster ever. Kim often sits silently in the corner during hardcore film nerd conversations at work. Conversations which are pretentious and tragically articulate, and include words like "cinematography," "scale," "tits," and "vision."

I wish more people had friends like mine.

Water is coming out of the drain in my basement. I don't think that's supposed to happen.

Never give up. Never.


Actually, I know I'm sexy.


Uniball pens don't like the washing machine. At least it's only work clothes.

There's no reason to not become the wolf.-BK