Roll with it baby.

Today was a lazy Saturday, which is no different than most Saturdays for me, but today was especially lazy.

I didn't bother to put on pants until I ventured out to Target around 7:00pm. Even then, I rocked my Vans sans socks, and didn't bother to change the t-shirt I'd been wearing for three days. I would have felt right at home at Wal-Mart. Perhaps even a West Virginia Wal-Mart. Fucking class.

I spent about an hour in Target, damn near a record for me. I am getting older, becoming my mother, in fact, as I walked up and down every aisle in the store, comparing prices on pain relievers, body wash, and detergent. In a moment of self-realization, sheer terror, and barely held control of my shit, I found myself staring at a nose hair trimmer for a while, because, at the mere age of twenty-four, I find myself trimming nose hair once a week or so. Tragic.

Things in the cart included white bread, MorningStar asian patties and burgers, a t-shirt, French's mustard, Heinz Ketchup, some totally badass Uniball pens (only used for writing material and the screenplay), and a bag of Gala apples.

Items not in the cart included ice cube trays, as Target does not sell them. I still do not have ice-making ability here, but I seem to be doing alright without it. Also, the nose hair clippers stayed on the shelf. I am not yet ready to concede defeat to my genes.

Dane is getting better, becoming less of a burden on my day. Sweet.

I cannot wait to go dancing tonight. I am going to Ceremony this week, and I look fly.

So apparently, a lot of people read this. You are all, always, welcome to comment, whether you agree or disagree with me. All I ask is that you do so in a respectful manner.

Focused on the funny for the summer. Good things will be happening. Maybe not in Pittsburgh unfortunately, but somewhere, for some comedian, something good will happen.

There is some sort of hockey game going on tonight. Meh. Uh, GO PENS!?

I need to get new spectacles.

I am keeping my eye out for a pair of really badass pants. The color will be black, but the material is to be decided upon location of said pants.

I have been listening to this album, and this song in particular, a lot lately. It makes me want to unbutton my shirt more and do cocaine while receiving a blowjob, but have you seen the coke prices lately? Incredible guitar playing. Rock and roll with out the smart-ass, ironic smiles. Ladies and gents, The Darkness!


Well, somebody's gonna have to call this in.-BK

I will taste you.

This one is pretty simple, pretty straightforward. I would like to have sexual intercourse(and do kinky, dirty things) with all of these women. I am generally attracted to older, self-confident women, and these women are exceptions to many of society's rules, which makes them even more alluring. (THIS WILL BE CREEPY! THINK OF IT AS MY PENIS DOING A GUEST BLOG!)

Melissa Auf der Maur
(Former Hole and Smashing Pumpkins, terribly underrated solo artist)
Tall, slender, red-headed bass player. Very beautiful in a very restrained, confident way.


Dita Von Teese
This pic is about the safest, most Myspace and parent friendly pic I could find. If forced to sum up her breasts in one word, I'd say "astounding." It would come out sounding more like "grarpgarpgaghar" though. She is stunning, and dresses in a manner I find highly erotic, yet classy and demure. Very elegant. I would love to just stare at her from across the room.


Shirley Manson
As stated before, Shirley Manson is the most beautiful woman alive!


Tori Amos
She is the definition of the word/term "cherry."


Of course, there is a myriad of unattainable women out there to tempt me, but the above find themselves front and center as a way for me to whittle away the hours.
------

Show went well earlier. I am pleased.

Thanks to my friends for coming out. You guys are the best, and your support is greatly appreciated!

Big thanks to Steve Swanson for having me out and snapping a few pics. Check out Steve's "Trailer Park Trivia" on Thursdays at the Double Wide, in the heart of Pittsburgh's Southside.

I took the extra-mega long way home via bicycle tonight. It was a good thing to ride no-handed for six blocks again. Skills are returning to me by the mile it seems.

1997 Sarah McLachlan almost made the list.-BK

Right here, right now.

The news folks have informed the world of one of the last tribes of human beings who are... not informed of the "world."

What does this mean? Well, for example, they've...

...never seen Britney Spears' vagina. Not even once.

...really "lived of the land."

...never been to McDonald's, Burger King, or Whole Foods.

...been living without Christ in their hearts, and seem to be getting along alright.

...got it made.

What would I give for such bliss? A lot. A fucking lot.

----

The new Indiana Jones flick is pretty entertaining. Cate Blanchett and John Hurt are underused, and Shia Lebouf continues to cement his reputation. The dude will be a MEGA star in the very near future. Harrison Ford phoned in his performance.

Neil Flynn, "Janitor" on Scrubs, has a great little role. Watch for it.

They took quite a few story premises from previous films. Tragically, these films included Stargate and Alien vs. Predator. Still, though, it's a good time, and worth seeing, just turn off the thinking part of your brain. You're American, it isn't too hard.

We think.-BK

I see you're gangster...

'Tis a beautiful day today. The sun is just right, and there is a slight breeze. The sky has a liberal coating of clouds. Indeed, it's a good day. There are only three, maybe four, hundred places I'd rather be than at work right now.

This was sent to me via Myspace bulletin, and I spat my gullet load of french fries out when I came across this. I have been mentally beating them up with an aluminum baseball bat for about two hours now.

I wanna leave work early today, and lay in a park somewhere listening to Creed. That's right, I said Creed.

Pumped that I am so stoked about the show tomorrow.

Rearranging the crib. Moving the desk to the kitchen, and the kitchen table to the basement.

I need some shit for my walls. Something tasteful. Porn is tasteful if it's in black and white, correct?

I buy "Tony's" brand pizza, because they are slightly smaller than normal frozen pizza, and I feel like less of a gelatinous turd upon eating an entire pizza by myself.

This will never get old.


It's my Friday, and I don't aim to waste it.-BK

A pill to make you numb.

I spent a bit of time tonight rediscovering KT Tunstall's great album, Eye to the Telescope while I did dishes(covered in dried blood as well as food) and cleaned out old green bell pepper and salad from my refrigerator. This is a great album to just "chillax" and listen to. Good times. Plus, I have a thing for women with Scottish accents. KT is no Shirley Manson, but still...



This is pretty cool right here. I really like it.


Dangerous carbon emissions are emitting from my dryer as we speak. I'm attacking that fucking pipe with duct tape come sunrise.

Hey, do you live in Pittsburgh? Looking for something to do Friday? Well, perhaps you'd be interested in coming out to Remedy, and watching comics tell humorous stories, witty anecdotes, and hilarious jokes? If so, show up around 9:30pm, and tell them "Ben Kenny is the comedic equivalent of Jesus Christ" at the door. You won't get a discount, but you'll certainly make my night! It's only five bucks, but if it's free if you're a lady. Don't worry, you don't actually have to be a "lady." After all, this is Pittsburgh! Merely being female is sufficient enough for gratis admission.

I am journeying to a new 80's night tomorrow. It's closer to my house. Still the same DJ, but a potentially better dance floor. We'll see if it's worth the cover or not...

Why yes, I am a member of the pen15 club.

I have secured 5 consecutive days off in June. Plans so far? Fetish party for sure. Dancing for sure. Mini bike tour? Maybe.

Dane is slow to heal.

Ear protection is trivial when pizza consumption is imminent.-BK

Too much salt.

Sydney Pollack died.

This is kind of a bummer, as he is arguably the first great director of the modern era of film to pass on. Besides directing, he produced and acted as well. What Coppola is to Mafioso films, Pollack is to the love story. He made some really great flicks. Recently, he did this little ad spot that popped up before the movie started. This is hilarious!



I did not watch one episode of American Idol this season, yet I know who the winner and runner up are, because this is something that is now reported on the front page of cnn.com. I wonder how many people died of dysentery in Myanmar in the time it took me to learn about some kid's overzealous father?

I couldn't sleep last night, so I went for a bike ride at four o'clock in the morning. Dane was less than pleased, and showed his displeasure by bleeding a little. I saw three raccoons, a possum, two people walking dogs, and a drunk guy who always seems to be about, regardless of the hour.

I guess I'm getting skinnier.

My ass needs to see that new movie with Harrison Ford I've been hearing things about.

I'd go a round with Tyson for $422.08. More, if you want to watch it, and way, way more if you wish to film it.

Oh, there's the bass I've been lookin' for!-BK

I like Coldplay. What of it?

This is the most incredible thing I've ever seen. I laughed so hard I cried. I must obtain a copy of this movie. Like, fucking immediately!



Dancing was "off" last night.

It was a weird room, mostly due to the holiday weekend. The floor was douchebag heavy, i.e. people holding conversations, popped collars on pastel polo shirts, and Chicago Cubs jerseys. If I wanted that shit, I would hang out at the "big" clubs, that play the worst music, and make the worst drinks(still sober). I was seriously considering leaving, but I knew the one o'clock hour would clear most of them out, and it did, and I got down. Mission accomplished.

I hate people who dance with drinks and/or cigarettes in their hands. That ain't dancing, because you aren't letting your arms move with the music!! As the veritable God of all things white, young, and suburban, Eminem, has said, "You better lose yourself in the music, the moment, you own it, you better never let it go."

I'm not sure what all that just meant, but punch me the next time you see me. I suck for being inspired by his lyrics.

Apparently, the sporting team from Detroit is slightly better than the sporting team from Pittsburgh, although both teams are among the best of their class, for this year at least. I still trying to figure out where Heinz Ward fits in, but I'm getting there. Cooked meat and draft beer prevail, and I make myself scarce.

I think, on a whole, Detroit also is superior to Pittsburgh in overall depression, but only because Windsor is so close, and nobody bothers to move!



This is Dane. I decided to name him after Dane Cook. Both cause me serious pain, and force me to stop what I'm doing and cringe when they make their presence known. One will be totally gone in two or three weeks. One will not. I would gladly live with this cut if I could choose which one could disappear...



This is Dane today. He still hurts like a bitch. Even though I had him bandaged up at work, putting and taking off my gloves was still agony. So bad, in fact, that I had to do it with no one around, so they wouldn't here me whimper like a little girl.

I have a show Friday night, and I am ready to ROCK AND ROLL!!!

You best get a fucking cheese pizza!-BK

Cash and carry.

I did venture out last night. I went dancing, and I had fun. I sweated a lot, as is customary when one is overweight and involved in athletic activities.

It's dishwashing day. (That's right. I only wash dishes once a week. Take it.) While attempting to remove some petrified spaghetti sauce using super-baggage handler strength, I managed to crack a plate in half, cutting the shit out of my thumb in the process.

It was/is a motherfucker of a cut. One of those cuts you have to watch for a few hours, debating if it needs to be sutured or glued shut. I'm pretty sure it's gonna be okay with cotton ball/electrical tape dressing, as my cholesterol is obviously high enough to prevent any life-threatening blood loss. As I type this now, it still hurts. It is throbbing! Grr..

At what point did Alec Baldwin go from handsome leading man to fat guy supporting actor? How did the world seem to miss this transition? Somebody out there, please, pinpoint exactly when this happened!

Malice(Watch his eyes. PERFECT acting.)


Glengarry Glen Ross(The accent. The pacing. PERFECT.)


30 Rock(The best show on TV.)


Fuck it.-BK

The Light and the Glass.

As far as I'm concerned, the State of Pennsylvania can blow me, and then go fuck themselves.

140 dollar speeding ticket.
200 bucks for not having inspection.

Almost a quarter of the above costs are due to "E.M.S." fees and other bullshit.

I guess rent's gonna be a little late.

Oh yeah, somebody took off my mirror the other day, so there's more money I don't have to spend being spent.

I hate working when I'm supposed to be off. It throws my chi off. Especially on a formerly three day weekend.

The highlight of the weekend so far??? Probably hanging out with somebody cool last night, watching a heavily edited film on cable.

I wrote a killer Huey Lewis and News joke. I am tearing down comedy walls, motherfuckers!

I think I'm staying in tonight. I don't want to continue my streak of great luck.

Don't even bother.-BK

Double up and boogie.

It's Memorial Day weekend. Hopefully, you aren't personally affected by the horrors and tragic flaws of the Iraq War.

I am.

Over the past five years, my tax dollars have gone to fight an increasing hopeless, illegal, and immoral war.

Did my tax dollars buy the bullets an American sniper shot through a Koran last week?

Do my tax dollars pay mercenary Blackwater soldiers who shoot people down with no consequences?

Are they being used to buy American flags that cover the coffins of dead American servicemen and women?

I would hope they're putting my tax dollars to more positive use, but I doubt it.

These are things I think about while dancing.

Just let GO!-BK

Erase and Rewind.

I went out to see Forgetting Sarah Marshall yesterday. I know it's been in the theaters for a while, but I've been really poor, and on an awkward work schedule. I thought it was moderately funny. I was kind of upset to find out the movie was merely produced by Judd Apatow, and not written or directed by him.

Stone sober for a few days now. The hardest part of my "booze sabbaticals" is always the first few days, so I should be able to relax a little.

Dancing tonight. It's going to be weird drinking water/soda whilst busting sweet ass moves, but I think I can handle it, as I don't usually get "Nick Nolte drunk" when dancing anyways.

If you're reading this via Facebook, you need to start reading it from myspace or blogspot, as I often upload photos and videos, and you simply aren't getting the full experience of my blog without them. If you're reading this on Facebook, you probably are just some random person I went to high school with anyways, and you aren't of major importance to me, so, well, uh, fuck it, I suppose.

Big list of shit to accomplish this weekend. Wheeee!

The queerest of the queer.-BK

Freedom from choice is what you want.

Ever been in the beginning stages of a long highway drive when Mr. Stomach and Senator Bowel request an emergency meeting with your brain regarding an "exit strategy?" You're all... "Sorry, the needs of Mr. Stomach and the Senator are important, and certainly valid, but we are unable to realistically answer their call at this time."

It was a long, painful, nerve-wracking ten mile drive last night.

It was the closest I've ever, ever, come to shitting my pants. It was scary.

I was tensing and relaxing every muscle from my thighs to my shoulders, and the sounds I was making were reminiscent of thirties blues, Godzilla movies, and frenzied begging to a God I don't believe in.

I made it home.

18 hours later, I'm still rehydrating myself, and for some reason, I have a ravenous hunger today. Oh well.

----

Senator Kennedy has a brain tumor. Oh, now, c'mon America, you knew the Kennedy curse was gonna get him. Good thing he didn't drink himself to death.

But seriously, the guy's head is so fucking big that his life expectancy has to be better than most, if not all brain cancer patients in recorded history. That tumor has a lot of work on it's hands. If I had to pick a tumor to feel sorry for, it'd be Senator Kennedy's.

At least when he dies, the government will fund cancer research better, and my life will be less disrupted by people doing 5k runs.

----

I've decided not to travel this weekend. The bookings look shady, and I have some projects at the apartment that need a man's touch. That being said and known, I'm still gonna give it a shot.

Fresh popcorn!-BK

I hate the beach and mountains too.

By all applicable logic, last night's show should have gone absolutely horrible. The comic/guest ratio was about 7 to 1, a billion people showed up to tell jokes, and I'm in the beginning stages getting sober. For a while, at least.



I found, however, that I had one of my best sets in a long time, and actually quite enjoyed watching the other comics' work as well.

We'll start with me. After all, that's why you're reading this. You all fucking love me, and/or want to be me, or you have money on when I'm going to kill myself(50th birthday)... but I digress.

I went on late, second to last. I started to working on a few brand new bits, expanded upon a few others, and worked a few old standards in as well. I was incredibly relaxed and confident, something extremely rare for me to be onstage. I had no "cricket" moments during my set, which is miraculous in a town as collectively dumb and numb as Pittsburgh is. I had fucking fun onstage last night, and I hope to repeat it.



The man above is Mo Mozuch. Mo is not only, unarguably, the funniest person in Pittsburgh, he is one of my favorite comedians, period. Check him out if you've got the chance and like to laugh so hard that liquid comes out of your nose, even if you aren't drinking anything.



This is Tim Dimond. Tim usually plays the guitar and sings really unique, evil, offensive, and funny songs about rapping fetuses, Asian women, and Helen Keller, but tonight he went "bareback" so to speak. Tim was so funny I forgot to laugh. I mean that as a high complement. I literally had to close my mouth, as my jaw dropped several times during his set. It was a totally unexpected and utterly hilarious side of him that I've never seen before. He has a future in regular stand-up if he wants to abandon the strumming. If I was him, I wouldn't stop playing the guitar though. Bitches love that shit.

Another great local comic is Subhah. Check her out if you have the chance. Prolific material.

On a clear day, I'm flying home to you.-BK

Where's Ops?

Dancing was great. Much stress was left upon the small, smoky, uneven dance floor.

I have spent my work day watching a mixture of shit, urine, and chemically treated water drain through a clear hose less than two feet from my face. Don't tell me about how "shitty" your day was. I win, hands down.

Apparently, there is some sort of hockey team here in Pittsburgh. More on this as news filters in. I hear they consume mass quantities of meat and draft beer in relation to this "hockey team," so it must be rather popular.

Too many people know Christopher Walken solely through his SNL appearances, work in disposable comedy films, or, worst of all, through the horribly underdeveloped impressions of countless comedians using his iconic presentation/delivery as a cover for a lack of originality in their acts. Kevin Pollack is exempt from this last statement.

I give you "The Dead Zone." Probably my favorite Christopher Walken movie. The man can really act. This was made by the same guy who directed "Scanners," and "Eastern Promises." It was written by Stephen King. Anthony Michael Hall should've taken better notes... Oh yeah, brief nudity, so be prepared.



Finalizing some travel plans.

She was cracking up. Totally nuts. Still hit it though.-B

Holy shit. You guys have a Waffle House out here.

Show went alright last night. I was offered the chance to host, and I should have done it, but I declined, because I was just feeling "off," in a way. My jokes seemed to work though, so that's always great. Plus, people were there!

Come out to Shadow Lounge tomorrow. I'll be taping the set for myspace/YouTube presentation, so laugh when I stop talking.

Didn't go dancing or to see that show last night. Instead, hung out with someone cool. Just hung out. The first time I've simply chilled with someone in a low-pressure environment in a long, long time. I had fun, and I got to watch turkeys get inseminated on TV!

My nails are black. Gothic/industrial badass black.



I love how the elf actually resembles Matthew Modine. I love it!

Gonna get my dance on tonight. Joy Division tribute set?! Fuck yeah!

www.whywontgodhealamputees.com

June 1st-July 1st is an alcohol sabbatical. It's time for a much-needed break.

Yeah, uh, most comedians aren't big fans of Dane Cook, actually.-BK

Things have gone from shit to vomit.

If you're reading this on blogspot, you know I'm rapidly approaching 200 posts. If you're reading this on Myspace, you know I'm well above 200 posts. Do you know what 200 posts means? Nothing. Not a damn thing. Life will continue regardless.

The dance floor was soul-crushingly empty yesterday.

Laundry all day long today.

I am really excited about my set tonight. More excited than I have been since I started doing comedy on a regular basis. The fire is fully burning in the furnace again. The pilot light never went out, but it flickered for a few months. Time to shed the blankets and woolen socks, and start sleeping naked, so to speak, metaphorically and whatnot.. (I really do sleep naked, though.)

Tim Curry really deserves a lifetime achievement award or something. At least throw this guy a big fucking bone!

Legend(Too few have seen this film. Awesome.)


IT(Fuck you if this didn't scare the shit out of you when you were younger!)


The Rocky Horror Picture Show(In a role he originated.)


I'm eating hummus today.-BK

If you show me heaven, I will meet you there.

Gonna dance tonight. Have to dance tonight. MUST dance tonight!!

It has been a shit day at work, and throwing down will be more productive and better than getting drunk. I need to shed this stress. I was so pissed earlier, so angry, that my arms and torso were shaking from the adrenaline. I was right though, and my coworkers seem to have affirmed this, so it's cool. Relatively cool, at least.

My show Saturday is early enough to afford me an evening out. I am in a bit of a bind though. There is a British Dance Night I've been meaning to check out, or a concert put on by local heroes Venus In Furs(www.myspace.com/venusinfurspgh).

The problem with Venus in Furs, a band I've seen twice, is their lead singer. On stage, the band itself is tight. They play well, have decent sound, write good music, and perhaps most importantly, seem to have "it." But the lead singer, ugh. He takes away from what this band could be. Drunken louts do not make good rock stars.

The problem with Lava Lounge, a venue I've been to more than twice, is the extreme level of hipster douchebags, both male and female, present on seemingly all nights at all times. It feels awkward dancing in there. The floor is small, the DJ booth is literally across the room(meaning the DJ can't really monitor a floor as well as he/she should be, imho) and it feels like everyone is afraid to dance. Drinks are overpriced and under made as well.

I think I'm going British Dance Night, but I'm not sure yet. They best play Killing Joke at least once.

Made some BBQ tofu earlier. It was a failure. I ate it though, because I did not want the culinary effort, which was considerable, to go to waste.

Oh baby!-BK

Dead stars.

There is video of Suge Knight, post KO on the TMZ website. If it was anyone other than Suge Knight getting dropped, I wouldn't really care, but Suge Knight is a prick. I'm not sure if anyone has ever called a black man a prick before. Is that a white-on-white insult? I don't think it's racist though, so we're all good. I'd like to see some pics or an interview with whoever knocked him out. That dude must be one fearless man.

Two shows this weekend. Hoping for a combined audience of thirty-five. Afterall, it's Pittsburgh, and if it doesn't involve meat and draft beer, people aren't going to come out, generally.

Bored? Me too. Sadly, I am at work, so I can't be sleeping or drunk. I will pull through this.

I'm cleaning the bathroom "crime scene" style tonight.

Weird Al is totally getting into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Totally.-BK

We got a little break. Like, two hours, I think.

Jimmy Fallon has been chosen as the successor to Conan. This is surely a sign of the upcoming global apocalypse. People like Jimmy Fallon and Dane Cook are the worst, most annoying, and least technically proficient kind of comedian, i.e. they think everything they say and do is funny. If you've ever sat through Taxi(the movie, not the show) you know this is certainly not the case. In my defense, I only sat through it because it cost me nothing, and Queen Latifah was in it. I have a weird "thing" for her. Mo'nique too. Damn sexy woman, that one.

Here's a thought. If you're going to be around Chicago/Wisconsin on Memorial Day weekend, look me up. Lots of beer consumption, and mixed drink sippin'. I am not looking forward to this trip, because I think it might be the last time I see my dog. Bummer for sure.

That's all for today.

Look for some comedy video next week, midweek.

Once I start, I cannot stop myself!-BK

Time to make some motherfucking donuts, bitch.

I was dancing last night. I found myself holding back a little. Couldn't seem to "flow" as well as I would have liked to. Sorry.

The hunt for an "every other" Saturday dance floor is officially on, as my regular Saturday has grown stale and very redundant. It is quite possibly the only non-gay dance floor on earth that is a sausagefest, to use the parlance of our times. The true irony is that it's Ceremony, a self-proclaimed "dark alternative dance night" but nobody seems to want to dance. Also, no one wants to hear three hours of non-stop Euro EBM. Fuck up the mix! FUCK IT UP! Oh well, let them lurk in the shadows and smoke cigarettes for all I care! Fuck em'.

PETER MURPHY IS COMING TO PITTSBURGH! Bauhaus/Peter Murphy is something I've only listened to for the past two and a half years or so, but the influence this man's voice has had on virtually every goth/dark/etc singer is incredible. I will be at this show, come hell or high water!!!




I'll probably be seeing Speed Racer at some point this week. I'll let you know.

Really turning a comedy corner. Whether I'm heading down a road to the gentrified, semi-urban place I hope to reach, or towards the suburban sprawl of mindless club comedy remains to be seen. I will learn this summer.

I almost pissed on a homeless guy last night.-BK

The Slip

Really fucking idylic day here in the 'burgh.

Rolled out of bed around ten am, giving thanks to fate and invisible men in the sky for not wrecking my car on the Parkway last night. Came close. Too close.

Rode the bicycle around town a bit today. Had lunch at the Quiet Storm, my favorite PGH restaurant. Although everything on the menu is delicious and excellent, I got my "usual," the Spicy Peanut. It's a wrap with tofu, peanut butter, raisins, lettuce, and pepper sauce. It is unbelievably tasty!

Sat in a park and people watched/read a book.

Invested more tax money in a new bag. I am one of those people who carry a bag everywhere. I am stoked on the bag. I will let you know how it goes. It looks able to withstand a direct hit from a nuclear warhead, so it should last a year or two in my daily use.

Bike and bus commute from now on.

Must go dance now!

Really, have you ever seen a midget who wasn't limping?-BK

If it ain't your body, then it must be your face!

Brief update on life today.

Extra tax money is here. Guess who drank Jack and Coke last night?

Guess who spent 200 bucks at Target, H&M, and the thrift store this morning?

I have been on a bit of a workout schedule/routine these past few months. Been gettin' a little "swoll" a few days a week and have been firing out 250 sit-ups and walking around the airport on the other days. You should always hurt the day after a workout. It means you've torn muscle tissue, and your muscles will be stronger when they rebuild. Pain is good. GOOD!

As you all know, my taste in, and vast scope of knowledge in, music is far better than yours. This being known and reiterated, I'd like to tell you all about an album you need to go out and buy.

It's Portishead's "Third" release.



Imagine a James Bond film directed by Tim Burton, which dealt with Commander Bond's heroin addiction and deep depression. Portishead would be the soundtrack. Listen to Portishead. You won't regret it.

There are 18 snot-filled Kleenex on my bedroom floor.-BK

Madonna is good for the soul.

While immensely bored and lacking stimuli at work today, I decided to spin some Madonna for myself.

No one ever really talks serious, mean-spirited shit on Madonna. There's a reason for that.

She is roughly equivalent to the fucking Beatles.

Now in her early fifties, Madonna has been relevant to American music since about the time I was born(1984).

Her music is not extraordinary. It won't win a lot of awards. It doesn't push barriers.

What it does do, almost constantly, is evolve, change, and grow with pop culture's ever-changing tastes and wants.

Madonna videos are almost always timeless, and often without peer. The set design, cinematography, editing, and direction were cutting edge when they were made, and, if you've watched any MTV in the past five years, you'll agree, blow anything made today out of the water, high into the air, and 15 miles inland.

People say "sex sells," and by that trite little cultural quip, Madonna must have her name on a lot of sales plaques.

She's never been degrading to herself, or to women in general. She's never been a mere sex object. She has always been some to be desired, something to be craved, and something some people aspire to be.

I am an unapologetic, unashamed fan of Madonna, and I always will be!

The following are three relatively random videos. Watch and respect.

My favorite Madonna song? Borderline! My favorite video? Material Girl!





Express Yourself


Rain


Die Another Day


Keep it mad real, yo.-BK

I am above this.

Please could you stop the noise, I'm trying to get some rest
From all the unborn chicken voices in my head
What's there...? (I may be paranoid, but not an android)
What's there...? (I may be paranoid, but not an android)

When I am king, you will be first against the wall
with your opinion which is of no consequence at all
What's there...? (I may be paranoid, but no android)
What's there...? (I may be paranoid, but no android)

Ambition makes you look pretty ugly
Kicking, squealing gucci little piggy
You don't remember
You don't remember
Why don't you remember my name?
Off with his head, man
Off with his head, man
Why don't you remember my name? I guess he does...

Rain down, rain down
Come on rain down on me
From a great height
From a great height... height...
Rain down, rain down
Come on rain down on me
From a great height
From a great height... height...
Rain down, rain down
Come on rain down on me

That's it sir
You're leaving
The crackle of pigskin
The dust and the screaming
The yuppies networking
The panic, the vomit
The panic, the vomit
God loves his children, God loves his children, yeah!



We can never be truly alone in America.-BK