I hate pissing in cups. No matter how much fluid I drink beforehand, I still have monumental, epic trouble doing it. Mind you, I'm the type of dude who will rarely piss at urinals, and usually attempt to hold in my stool until I get home, so pissing in a cup is something I'm happy I almost never have to do. Oddly enough though, I will actually look for crowded rooms(populated only by males and/or old women) and make efforts to pass nasty vegetarian gas in them.
Maybe it's because I'm a fan of quick, orderly, concentration camp-style disposal of bodily fluids, maybe it's because I don't support/agree with any sort of mandatory drug-testing. Call me a prude if you must, but remember, I'm a liberal prude.
Of course, they only need a wee little bit of urine, which left me hyper-hydrated and pissing almost every hour yesterday. I had to piss again on my way home from the testing, about an hour after I got home, at Taco Bell before shopping, and during my shopping trip!
I'm a firm believer in the "eat before food shopping" theory. Somehow though, I still managed to spend fifty-eight dollars at Giant Eagle like it wasn't no thang. I've got a few double shifts on deck for the week, so I will be eating heartily, and in large quantity, so that may be why.
In an average week, I go through 5 tortillas, a can of vegetarian refried beans, a green and/or red bell pepper, a fair amount of salsa, roughly 3/4 of a pound of cheese, 2 quarts of soy milk, a box of cereal, half a loaf of white bread, two to four cans of spaghetti o's or ravioli, 4 packets of Easy Mac, several gallons of Mountain Dew, etc.
I sort of envy people who diet. It's not that I lack the ability or motivation, it's just that my job requires that I eat! The average weight of a bag is thirty pounds. I put 83 bags on a plane yesterday morning. I work anywhere from 7-20 planes a day. Dieting is not an option.
No "best of" list from me this year. Everyone else is doing it, and besides, I share enough of my excellent tastes with you sumbitches as it is.
Speaking of my excellent taste... Look below! It's Ms. Kylie Minogue! I like how here voice is always slightly nasally, and how she can change her image so drastically from video to video. Definitely one of my favorite "pure dance" artists of all time. I am also of the opinion that she is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. The proportion of her body and the lines of her face just really, really, really do it for me. It's not even always sexual in nature, I often just view her as simply an object I find incredibly beautiful. Plus, she's older, which is always a plus in the book of Ben Kenny. Five years ago, I would never have owned up to liking her, but things change.
Did Kylie influence Kanye, or was it the other way around?
I'm aware of the fact that she's a gay icon, and find it odd and somewhat funny that virtually no one truly hates most gay icons in such a homophobic society. Find me someone who despises Elton John! How about Cher? Grace Jones? Breeders may not fully understand them, but we don't hate them like some of us hate "average Joseph" gay people. If you support your black friends' right to equality, if you support a legal immigrants' right to work, and if you let your wife vote for who she wants to vote for, there is no reason for you not to support equality for LGBT people. I'm not talking about just marriage either. Housing, employment, etc... People need to get vocal about this, and keep religious zealotry out of the legislative process!
It breaks my heart to see Rick Warren giving the invocation at Obama's inauguration. Just because he's a friendly, polite, kind-hearted Evangelical does not make his views, and the views of his ilk, acceptable. Christ Himself seems like the kind of guy who'd be totally down with gay people, but many of His fervent followers seem to conveniently overlook this fact. Although gay people would've still likely crucified His ass. No one wears white after Labor Day!
Microsoft's Zune players seem to have crashed. This affects what, maybe three or four thousand people? I don't know even one person with a Zune. In fact, I'm willing to bet that no one in history EVER has asked for a Zune for their birthday or Christmas... "Oh gee, a Zune. It's just about as expensive as the iPod but without the killer user interface or design features. Thanks Carl, thanks a lot." Never happened. Ever. (FYI, my made up stepdad's name is Carl.) Microsoft probably donates semi trailers full of Zunes to kids. Poor kids of course, without the means or equipment to legally download music, both urban and rural. They then put their cool new Zunes on train tracks, hide in the bushes, and wait for the crush show.
I thought there would be way more drunk people on the road as I drove into work this morning. I think I saw one for sure, and was on the fence about a few others. People don't party hard anymore. I am not "people." I party like a god.
They're now playing jazz over the PA at the airport. Better than Christmas music and endless Chopin.
Passion.
I'm just beginning to see that, actually.-BK
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