Wednesday, December 31, 2008

If it deploys, you will fucking die. Literally.

Eight glorious, fun-filled hours of classroom training for the second job today. It was immensely boring, as I already possess most of the skills and knowledge required, as I need them for the "first" job. It was nice to be reminded that sitting in school sucks and is mostly pointless though, lest I someday get tempted to go back to college due to societal pressure. You can't do shit with a college degree. It's a myth. You do shit with skills acquired and perfected through doing shit, not learning about shit. I may not have ever taken a "parental rights in the modern workplace" elective, but I do have the ability to lift heavy ass shit and use heavy machinery, which people still look for, believe it or not.

Anyways, we had to watch a harassment education video, which sounds awesome on the surface, but was actually about why harassment is bad and could get you or the employer sued and whatnot. It was not fun, and all I could think about was how the host of the video would be way hotter if she wore a tighter skirt and unbuttoned her blouse a little bit. I am not destined for a management career.

Smooth like olive oil buttered wheat toast. Just about as tasty too! Zero 7. British electro/trip-hop.


I had an absolutely horrible dream last night. It was horrible, terror-filled. Shit, it was like putting Fall Out Boy into dream form! I do believe it had something to do with the twenty minutes of Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector I watched shortly before departing Chicago. In my defense, ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere, I was writing stuff, and was unaware of just exactly what it was that I had on the television...

The movie was so bad that no one even bothered to really write any trivia for it on it's IMDB page. Or maybe it's just that the majority of his fans only have access to a computer at their local library, high school, or county jail. I kid.

Yes, the next time you see me, you can punch me twice. Once for watching the film, even unwittingly, and again for using the word "blogosphere." Douchey as charged!

Burly like that female gym teacher we all once had. The last clip will alter your perception of the word "ballsy."


New Year's Eve. I'll be sleeping. Hopefully you'll be spending the evening with a loved one, or just somebody with a moist and welcoming hole or two and a supply of liquor to thrust away the hours with until yet another dawn breaks. Remember though, you never need a date on a calendar to effect change in your life. Look within, and if you don't find the strength, do some coke, and get back to me in a few days.

It's a spree.-BK

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