I watched the sunset today. I hadn't done so in a while. I sat on the edge of the belt loader and watched the daylight fade over the vast, wide open view of an orange, pleasantly cloudy sky that working at Pittsburgh International Airport affords me.
I didn't think about a thing, and I felt great.
Putting ads on Craigslist makes me feel dirty, whether I am selling a bike or looking for "special" friends. I still do it though, because my moral compass is equivalent to a GPS with low battery power.
The overtime god brushed Her hair, and I picked up a strand. 1.6 delicious hours.
I realized today that the vast majority of my artistic influences are from outside of my chosen medium. I didn't know how to interpret this. I decided to eat a cookie. I felt right as rain. Just like in the film!
Depression is something I am learning/teaching myself/reading a lot about. I most certainly am afflicted with it, along with a few other probable "disorders," but I am not going to see a psychologist or psychiatrist. Medication does not solve or cure depression, it only offers a mask, a veil, a buffer, etc... If I seek professional help for how I feel, I think I would be medicated for the rest of my life, and that is not a lifestyle I have any interest in living. Feelings are a part of life, of living. I wish I had better feelings more often, happier feelings, but I'm happy that I can, and do, feel despair, loneliness, sadness, and a lack of motivation. I know that I am alive this way. No matter how many chemicals I could pump into myself, I know that my synapses will always be waiting to fire. They always have been, and they always will be. Why not let them just be themselves, so to speak?
This has become a theme song for me.
Flaming Lips - Bad Days
There are 8 million morbidly obese Americans. That's 8,000,000. Fat. Interesting.
I will be rocking this hard on Saturday night.
Ok, but how about you just don't talk to me right now.-BK
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