Weird, but not unexpected.

This needs to be put on a continuous video loop in every Welfare office, soup kitchen, and high school in America. Our country was built on the backs of people like him, and will survive because of people like him. I hope he finds that job.


Droves of people everywhere yesterday. Even at the grocery store. They were driving shopping carts just like they were driving cars. Poorly, and with little awareness of their location or speed.

There is a tangible amount of snow on the ground for the first time this year. I am not working. I am very, very happy.

Travis Walling wrote to inform me that he has indeed come into the possession of a camera, and will in fact be dropping videos, and I quote, "like a motherfucker" very shortly. In order to give the readers an idea of his style and enigmatic presence, he asked that this video be shown. You'll agree, if you know him, that the similarities are uncanny, and quite striking.


Here's my Xmas list. You know, in case you're interested. Remember to include the receipt.

Absolutely nothing from Wal-Mart. Getting gifts from them puts people out of work.
-a dark suit. two button. 46-48 jacket
-Dicks Sporting Goods giftcard
-Levi's jeans in Straight Leg 38x30.
-Black or VERY dark blue denim jacket large
-The Police concert tour dvd(sold at Best Buy)
-Red Hooded sweatshirt. size large. Matters not if it's full zip.
-Mini-DV tapes. (sony dvm60 preferred)
-south park on dvd (season 11 and on)
-flannel or fleece-lined jeans.(hard to find anywhere for under 100, but if you get a deal...)
-subscription to GQ and dirt rag magazines
-uniball or other "nice" pens
-long underwear/thermal large sized. prefer cotton/wool blend. no synthetic stuff!
-Troy Polamalu jersery(#43)

I had a really good bean, green pepper, and cheese burrito last night. I filled that bastard to the brim! Well, not really, as tortillas don't have brims, but you get the idea. Being a relative grown up is awesome, as I also ate french fries and carrots along with it. I break all the rules. I'm such a bad ass. Hoo-rah for me!

Smiling Moose and Obey House in the upcoming week. Come out for cheap laughs and moderately priced alcohol.

There's also a contest at the world famous Improv that a few of my friends(who everyone knows I'm just using) desperately need you to come out for. If you're not doing anything Wednesday night and are inclined to drastically overpay for food and drinks, head to the Waterfront and support Matt Light, Brian.. oops! I mean Mo, Mozuch, and Subah.

Shout out goes to Mitch today for introducing me to a great website that I was somehow, some way, totally and completely unaware of. Mitch works his ass off, and understands the epic journey all comedians must undertake. The road is long, with many a winding turn. Ladies, gentlemen, and Igor, I present to you... Mitch Mekulsia!


"Mitch was trying to make out with a girl that threw up in a hat!" Ha Ha Ha! That's our Mitch!

I'm pretty good at folding things now. I never was before. Perhaps I should get a job at the Gap? Naw. The employee discount would be moot for me, as I'm too cool for Gap clothes. I'm an "underground" comedian folks. I remember the first time someone introduced me as "underground." I was unhappy.


You could totally loop a 737.-BK