Do not ask me again.

I had fun today. Open mic at the Smiling Moose. I went on second to last, which means I had a bit of time to watch comics, some mediocre, some funny, and get nicely, warm and fuzzy, drunk. I was quite ripped when I got up, and I just went off on the world in general. It was as if I could superimpose Tom Petty's "Freefallin'" video over the room and just fucking rip. By this point in the evening, most of the room had lost interest, and began holding conversations of their own, but I didn't care, as the five or six folks still paying attention were smiling and laughing. That's what it's all about, no matter what the room or locale. It's about bringing and seeing joy in people's faces. It is more addictive than crack, and it feels better than most people will ever know. Good fucking times! Good to feel the energy.

It is still cool here, which is awesome, as I no longer sweat while sleeping in the nude. I actually shivered a little last night with my windows wide open and all, but experienced no shrinkage, which impressed my imaginary girlfriend/right hand in the morning. We listened to The Cure as we made love, and it was magical.

Goddamn, this Morningstar double cheeseburger on white bread with the garlic pretzel crisps is mad good. The water I'm drinking is cold and clear, too!

Her hair drags you in, but the music oh so good. She sorta looks like a pig, but a pig I'd nonetheless put my penis in and thrust until I ejaculated. Sorry if that offended you, random members of my family and friends of my mother who, apparently, are reading this on a regular basis. I know my friends aren't offended. Filthy bastards!

Robyn is realer than real!


I watched a comic tonight, who, while original and funny in presentation, was clearly influenced and probably idolizes this man. At least he has good taste.


(His name was Mitch Hedburg. Dane Cook busts a nut to him and cries himself to sleep.)

The above video is funny enough to watch twice. It's rare to see "the funny" brought out like that. It's "Viet Cong" style funny.

I don't know what I meant by that last statement either, just watch that fuckin' vid two times!

Let's just focus on the first thing. After all, first thing's first.-BK