No one knows how to pick airlocks.

lol.

The number one song on the day I was born, all the way back in 1984, was "Karma Chameleon" by Culture Club. There are far worse songs to have been born to. I was especially bummed that my parents didn't conceive my ass a year or so earlier, as "Africa" by Toto would've been my birth song. If you guys know how much Toto rules, well then, you know, I guess.... or something. A year later, it would've been "I Want To Know What Love Is," by Foreigner, fyi. Somewhere out there, a ten year old kid's birth song is "The Thong Song." Think about that and be happy to be old(er)!

Totastic! (2.8 million YouTube viewers agree!)


Despite my gruff exterior and lack of belief in society, I do believe in love at first sight. If only a big-titted, blond, Nobel prize-winning, multi-millionaire, submissive woman believed too! Especially if she's into borderline alcoholic, budding supervillian, stand-up comedian baggage handlers with a credit score lower than the President's IQ.

So I've got a thing for older women bass players. What of it? I hunt cougar.


It seems like it wants to rain today, but it's not raining. I am happy, because my rain gear smells like feet after a long summer of "riding hard and puttin' away wet." Why wash something when you could just get issued a new one by your employer?

Through my infinite amount of connections and startling ability to read, I was able to procure my ass a free pass to go see Hamlet 2, which I did yesterday evening. It was decently funny, and definitely a welcome change of pace from the "bromantic" comedies that seem to just keep getting shittier in a very subtle but noticeable way. If you lack good taste and like to laugh a little, go see it.


I didn't write about the Democratic convention because the future of this country, of our lives, and of our world is not ever going to be changed by one man. I don't care how many people where his semi-Che inspired shirts. I don't care anymore, and I'm probably not going to vote either. "Hope" my ass.

That movie is not gonna be screened for critics.-BK