Heavy Lobster

While waiting for people to load into an airplane at work yesterday, a customer said I looked like Tarantino. Like, the director Tarantino. Either I'm losing more weight(and hair) than I thought, or this gentleman was drunk. Also, I say "fuck" about eight times as much as he does.

Show at the Smiling Moose was sparsely attended. There was a high comic to audience member ratio, but it still went alright, for me at least. I drank four beers, and smoked no cigarettes, so it was a small step towards whatever.

Look out for me Saturday night at Slapsticks!, as well as on the 24th of October. It would mean a lot to me if you guys could come out on the 24th. It's a competition, you see. I know I'm pretty good talent wise, I know I'm funnier than most of the comics in town(cocky, but true!), but I need audience support! Please come out and vote for me! I can get you two-for-one tickets! As a bonus, the room will be dark enough for you to put a hand on/in your significant other's crotch. Don't have a significant other? Hmm, perhaps you could grind against the center pole of the table or something, or just sit quietly until I start my set. Then, you should laugh uproariously. I need, need, need, need, NEED you guys to show up!

I should totally go to Cleveland tomorrow night to see Sevendust, but I've got Eighties night, and I'm a little too poor for a concert ticket and concert-priced beers right now. I will throw out the sign of the Devil at 11:30 or so tomorrow night, regardless of whatever song I'm dancing to, and whomever I'm dancing around/with, in a show of solidarity, support, and general awesomeness.

Either a skunk died somewhere on my street, or my neighbors are mixing up some incredible new strain of meth. Some random tweaker offered to sell me a "Vike" aka Vicodin the other night, and I almost accepted, but I had no alcohol at my place, which everyone who's anyone knows goes super good with Vicodin. Plus, drugs are bad for you. Unless, of course, a doctor prescribes them. Then it's totally ok to be on drugs, right? Right!

Gotta go.

(All the vids I watched today were highly pornographic. Thanks Chuck!)

FedEx it to me.-BK