Walking unsteadily to my car after Eighties night yesterday, I passed a girl coming the opposite way. I nodded. She tightened her grip on something in her hand. As I turned back to look at her ass, I noticed that "something" was a canister of pepper spray. If I had said a muttered "hello" I might have had to spend the morning in the Emergency Room. My life is constantly on the razor's edge of complete shit. Her ass wasn't even that good.
The evening was fun. People were in costume. I was not, as I'd just worked sixteen hours. There were even two Annie Lennox appearances, both very good and spot on. I had taken four aspirin beforehand, and somehow, they boosted my buzz quite a bit. Good times.
There are two fake chicken patties sitting on a baking tray right beside me. I am warming up the oven, but I brought them into the room because I am very hungry. I am visualizing eating them, because that is my goal in this particular endeavour. Visualize your goals, kids.
I am looking most forward to tomorrow evening's show. Working a new venue with different people is always a welcome change. Comedy in this town is soul crushing, no doubt about that, but maybe this time it will only step on my toes and rub pepper under my nose while forcing me to call it Mistress. There is no safeword in comedy. Do or die.
Happy Halloween. This is how I view children, and how you should too. They are merely sources of entertainment, not the future. Worry not, I am not ready to "invest" in my own source of entertainment. Not for a long, long, long time, if ever.
Back to a relatively normal 9 to 5 schedule next week. I don't know how I feel yet. I fucking hate traffic though, I know that.
My iTunes is randomly selecting The Cure, HIM, and Fiona Apple for me to listen to today. I think it might be slowly becoming sentient. I can't bring myself to kill it, even if mankind's future is at stake. I love it, ok? I love it!
Yeah, I'm posting late today. I had to sleep for thirteen hours. Well, I didn't have to, but it wasn't like I had anything penciled in.
Totally sweet.
I found a porno mag I'd thought I had thrown away. I can now fill about twelve minutes of my day. Tiffany likes men who know what they're doing.
I just wrote a joke about Mel Gibson.
This song is an all time favorite. It sounds absolutely fucking perfect on headphones, a radio, or on the floor. The lyrics are fantastic, and every note is perfect. Way better than "I Ran."
I might make myself a smoothie today. Probably not, since banana-apple is not high on my list of favorites.
It is very fun in here tonight.-BK
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