Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I doubt it.

Yesterday I had the worst coughing fit in the world, ever! It happened while I was in the shower. It came out of nowhere, much like the Jonas Brothers, and overpowered me. I was doubled over, clutching my chest, hacking like a stoner on the quad at Berkeley or something. I was ingesting water, which made it worse, as the water was immediately regurgitated. I'd eaten Fruity Pebbles earlier, which led to some weird, rainbow colored mucus the swirled beautifully as it went down the drain. I must've coughed for 3 or 4 consecutive minutes. Not cool.

In what is surely the surprise of all surprises, Clay Aiken has come out as a homosexual. Obese women in Kansas who wear large sweat/pantsuits with cats embroidered on them are heartbroken, as are many gay folks. Do you think they can just say, "Uh, thanks, but no thanks. You're no Neil Patrick Harris," or is that discrimination? Not on based on sexual orientation of course, but just because Clay Aiken is at a "David Blaine/Dane Cook/Kid Rock" level of douchery? Thoughts?

NPH does it for the kids, and for the kid in all of us!


Apparently, Lindsey Lohan is "a gay" too! My penis and I have discussed this, at length. (Not in an erection sense, perverts, but the pun was too good to ignore!) We can accept it, but do wish she had a "less dyke-ish" girlfriend. Drats.

Goldfrapp - "Strict Machine" Is their such a thing as a liberal machine?


Things are looking great, and they're only getting better.

I want to write the Greatest American Novel someday.

Speeding is essential to my mental health.-BK

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